A Broken Life

Chapter 5

It's been four weeks, and I've avoided Jackson at all costs. I'm not sure why I'm so afraid to talk to him, I guess I'm just afraid that if he new he'd get mad. He tried to warn me and I just yelled at him for it. I'm afraid of things changing between us. But I have something worse on my mind right now my period is late. When I say late I mean really late, like 2 and a half weeks late. Yeah... my aunt is still in New York, and I'm so glad it's summer because if it weren't then I'd have so many questions that would have to be answered, and honestly I can barely handle my own questions right now.

What do I do? Should I get a test? Should I call my aunt? What'll Jackson think? And then there is the whole, how would I tell the father? Should I even tell him? I mean he has a right to know right?

I sigh in frustration. I'm not sure if I should even be making a big deal out of this. I'm just going to go to the store grab a couple of tests and I'll see where things go from there.

As I grab my phone and the keys, my phone buzzes once again.

Jackson: Elle, please, let's talk about this.

I look at all of my text messages from him and sigh.

Jackson: Hey, you just disappeared. Why?

Jackson: Hey we need to talk about last night

Jackson: Hey Elle it's been a while... talk?

Jackson: Elle please

Jackson: If it's about the party, we were both drunk, & I think we should just talk about it

Jackson: Ok, I get it. U need space.

And now he chooses to text me again. I can't talk to him, not yet, not until I can prove my suspicions. I shut my phone off, and head out of the door.

I enter the car and turn on the radio Drive by Hasley comes on and I make a quick stop.

Once I enter the building I head straight to what I'm looking for. I grab a couple of different brands, then go to the isle to buy a bag of chips, and some chocolate bars that way I'm ready for a party, or a night of crying.

When I get to the register the guy gives me a look of sympathy. I fumble with my fingers, avoiding eye contact. He hands me the bags and I rush out to the door to my car.

Oh god, that look. If I'm right about this, I'm going to get a lot worse from the people I know. Maybe when summer ends, my aunt will just let me do online school. Yeah... maybe.

I get home put my groceries away, and head to the bathroom, with the tests in my hands. I set on a timer on my phone, and wait or what seems like hours.

Once the timer goes off I jump off of my bed and head into the bathroom. I'm afraid. My heart races, and my mind is telling me to call Jackson so he could be here for me. He'd always be there for me, right? I push the thoughts of Jackson away and open the door to the bathroom. I take long agonizing steps to the sink counter, and two of the three tests say positive.

"Oh god." Tears sting my eyes, and my knees feel like they just want to give up on me. I grip onto the counter to make sure I don't collapse. I can't do this. I can't become a mother. I'm only seventeen for goodness sakes, and I lost my virginity to Tommy! Tommy is not father material; he can't even take care of a goldfish!

"I need to call Jackson." I whisper to myself as I try to find my phone through my blurry vision. The world around me spins, the floor slowly crumbles from under my feet but I struggle to stay standing.

I grab my neon blue phone, and dial Jackson's number. It rings once, and he automatically answers. "Hey Elle, so glad you called, I was beginning to worry." I break into tears, and Jackson tries to comfort me over the phone. "Shhh shhh it's ok Elle. Hey why are you crying? What's wrong?"

"I- I-", I sniffle trying to stop my tears.

"Hey, no, don't cry. I'm heading over to your house right now; I'll be there in a few. Okay?"

I nod, and then remember he can't see me. "Okay."

Five minutes later there is a knock on my door. I open it and automatically strong, comforting arms embrace me into a hug. The tears start flowing again, and Jackson whispers little nothings in my ear. My tears start to slow and he takes that as a chance to lead me to the couch.

"Hey Elle what's wrong?" Worry is evident on his face. I need to keep myself from crying any more or I won't ever stop.

"I'm scared." I mumble looking at my neon socks. Jackson moves my brown hair out of my tear stained face, and moves my head so I'm looking at him.

"What?"

"Tell me it was all a dream. Tell me I didn't make the biggest mistake of my life." He looks hurt and confused, so I keep talking, "Tell me I didn't sleep with Tommie at the party."

His hand falls from my face onto his lap. His expression is blank, and what I call, his thinking face, appears. Time passes and my palms start to sweat as I wait for him to say something.

He sighs then looks at me in the eye, "Elle. You didn't sleep with Tommie the night of the party."

I look at him, he sounds so serious. "What? How- how would you know?"

"Elle, it wasn't Tommie you slept with that night of the party. You really don't remember do you?"