A Broken Life

Chapter 8

"You- you're pregnant?" He lets go of my face as if my skin has burned him. His face becomes stoic, showing no emotion. He stares at the floor, and the tension of the awkward silence once again surrounds us.

Sometime quiet is violent.

I stare at Jackson, as the tears continue to fill my eyes. And the biggest idiot award goes to me! He hates me, and he's just contemplating on how he wants to leave. Will he yell at met then storm out? Will he run out the door slamming it behind him? Or will he say he's going to buy cake to celebrate, then leave and never come back? Is this goodbye?

The silence becomes deafening, and I can't take it anymore. "Jackson?"

He snaps out of his thoughts and looks at me as if I were a puzzle. "Are you okay?"

"Well I don't know, I mean are you okay? Not to sound harsh, but your parents left you, and you just got over kids at school treating you like crap. Are you ready to be a parent? Are you ready to have everyone judge you again?" I'm not really sure. I never even really thought about that. Can I do this? More importantly, will I be able to do this alone?

"I'm not really sure Jackson, I mean you're the one who got me through both of those things. I guess no, I'm not ready to do this, not alone. What do I do?"

As if I've flipped a switch he jumps back into his warm, caring self, and grabs my hands. "Hey, you're not going to go through this alone. I'm here. This baby is mine too, don't go hogging all of the fun." He tries to lighten up the mood, but it's so hard to cut through this tension I've created.

I fake a smile and look him in the eye, "You don't have to pretend for me. Once my aunt comes home she can help me, you don't have to worry about it. I can take care of this on my own."

He looks at me in disbelief. Doesn't he understand? Only one life has to be ruined here, and it's not going to be his. "What? No, Elle, I want to help. I truly do."

"Face it Jackson. We're 17, and you have rugby and football, I can't take that away from you." If I let him get involved with this, his life will change forever, and I can't stand knowing I was the reason.

"No, Elle. You don't get to do this. You're worrying again, and you shouldn't worry. Stop trying to push me away, I'm not going anywhere."

He looks at me desperately waiting for me to agree. Why is he doing this? Whenever I mess up and think he'll leave me he never does, why? He could walk out the door right now and none of this will affect him, and yet he just buries himself in it like it's his job. He's wasted so much on me; I can't let him do this anymore.

I shake my head no, avoiding eye contact. This wall inside my heart slowly starts to build, and my tone grows somber, "No, I don't want your help. My aunt is coming home tomorrow, she'll help me with this."

"Elle-"

"I think you should go." The tension in the air chokes me, and the look of hurt on Jackson's face sends me six feet under. This isn't some fairy tale. Just because he says he wants to help, doesn't mean a true loves kiss will fix everything. No, I won't let him get stuck in the black hole of judgment. Only one of us has to go though this, and like always, it'll be me.

He looks at me and the hurt fades, and anger starts to show. "Fine, push me away Giselle, " he stands up and walks towards the door, "but if this is goodbye for you, don't expect me to say goodbye too. I'm not giving up so easily." With that he's gone, and I'm stuck in this empty house alone with my thoughts.