The E-book of Random Crap

Something Different

Tried my hand in something kinda... poetic? I dunno. I just had a monster energy and this idea popped into my head as I remembered a part of my life when I drank the last drop. So I wrote whatever came to mind... Let me know what you think?? Or don't. Wherever's cool. :)

It's funny how random inanimate objects can bring forth so many memories you buried so deep in your mind.

A single drop of energy drink.
But so much more.
Five, six, seven empty cans overcrowding the nightstand.
You can count all of them
Still not amounting to all of the skipped school days
Trying to hide from the world. Saving a can until late at night when your eyes started drooping down but you don't want to shut your mind off.
The fear of the next awaiting day.
The plead for it all to go away.
The cold darkness you feel inside.
Wishing everything would just stop.
How the apathy toward all that you do eats you up inside.
You feel everything.
Yet you feel nothing.
Overheated in your hoodie
That hides the body you are ashamed of
Yet freezing inside.
You overthink everything.
Yet you can't think at all.
Nothing makes sense.
But maybe you don't want it to.
Or at least that's what you tell yourself.
You want to get out.
But seeking comfort in pain is all you can do.
Besides, you must've deserved it, right?
One a.m.
After drinking the whole can.
Your thoughts won't shut up.
They tear you apart.
They cut holes in your life.
Not allowing you to see the good.
But making the bad painfully obvious.
You can't get to sleep.
But it's what you want, what you need
Because these horrible whispers in your head
Are so much better than the day ahead.
You may be the one destroying yourself
But without that thing called real life
Without all of those mistakes
Without everything piling up
You might feel a little better.
You might still feel like a complete waste
But maybe
Just maybe
A little less of a mistake.
You tilt the can back as far as you can
Tilting your head even farther.
The last drop falls onto your tongue.
If you wish hard enough
Desperately pleading for it
Maybe it's enough to get you through the night.

As the last drop disappears
And the flavor goes away with it
You snap back into reality.
The memory is over
Leaving you with an odd feeling.
It still seems so real.
No, it was real.
It was a part of your past
And try as you might
You can't ever forget.
It leaves you with an overwhelming feeling.
Sad
Empty
Cold
You feel a bit like you did then
On those sleepless nights
Trying to stay away from reality.
But underneath
Other feelings linger.
Wonder
Awe
Happiness.
You got out of an endless tunnel.
You feel strong.
Not indestructible
Because without the damage
You couldn't find the strength.
But stronger.
You can feel proud of yourself.
You can feel happy.
You can feel.
You made it.
You can rest.

So you do just that.
As your consciousness fades away
Into a peaceful dream
Into a world without hurt
Your memories of the years prior fade too.
You don't remember often
But when you do
The world around you silences itself for you
Because all of those late nights
And all of those painful days,
They shaped you
Formed you
Changed you.
And you became you
And you became worthy
Because you realized your worth.