We'll See (a jian fanfic)

15. Ill catch you

Jc pov

kian nuzzled his nose behind my ear and I couldn't help the shiver of pleaser and content that coursed threw my body. His lips gently brushed my earlobe and I tilted my head trying to gain more contact. He slowly turned me until we where facing each other and I looked up at him... his normally light brown eyes darkened and his usual smug smile was replaced with an expression of wonder.

"merry Christmas Jc" he whispered. I opened my mouth to respond but was muted when his lips gently pressed against mine...

~*~*~*~

I froze in surprise but slowly melted into his touch. One hand moved to rest on the small of my back while the other cupped my face, pulling me closer and deepening the kiss. I sighed into his mouth and dropped my pool stick, slowly bringing my hands to grip his powerful arms... working out every day for football had toned him and I could feel his muscles ripple with every movement.

It felt like we were there for an eternity... but also a split second at the same time. kian was the one to pull away and he stepped back eyes wide and frantic.

"oh my god..." he trailed off and ran his hands threw his hair hitting his red lip.

"I'm so sorry I just- you just- I couldn't- oh god you probably hate me now..." he kept rambling on but I didn't understand anything other than the occasional 'I'm such a freaking idiot', 'oh god' and 'you'll hate me'....

Is that really what he thought? That I would hate him? Because that was the exact opposite of the truth. I just stood there waiting for him to calm down... but that's the thing... he didn't calm down. He just kept rambling and pacing. His hands began to fidget and his breaths became deeper. Tears welled in is eyes and that's when it clicked...

He's about to have an anxiety attack... because of me...

As I came to my realization I decided to take action before it got out of hand. Finally moving from my spot against the pool table I walked until I was standing right in front of him. He was to wrapped up in his own thoughts to notice until I reached out and let my fingers brush his shoulder. He flinched away from my touch but I grabbed his elbow pulling him closer to me... his breathing was still heavy but his talking began to subside...

"and then.... I just... I'm sorry" he finally stopped but as soon as he did so he visibly deflated. It amazed me how someone who seemed so confident and strong could really be so unsure and fragile.

Using his elbow I gently guided him to the home theater, keeping the lights dim so they wouldn't hurt his tearstained eyes. I sat down in one of the comfortable leather chairs and motioned for him to sit on my lap. He hesitated but I gabbed his wrist and pulled him on top of me. My arms immediately wrapped around him and I hugged him to my chest protectively. He tensed at first but eventually relaxed into me; his heartbeat, which had been racing, began to slow and as he calmed we were engulfed in a peaceful quiet.

I took that time to carefully choose my words and actions; kian didn't seem to mind my silence as he seemed lost in thought himself. Looking down at him I decided to just be truthful... tell him how I felt and take whatever he gave me. If the kiss was brought on by real emotions I would happily go out with him, be his boyfriend or be whatever he wanted me to be. But if it was just a mistake, if he didn't even like guys, had just got caught up in the moment... then I would restore our friendship; because didn't want to lose him... I couldn't lose him.

"did you mean it?" I whispered, his head shot up and I saw his eyes flash with so many emotions that it was hard to keep up with... I somehow managed to read them all and I inwardly smiled at what the most reoccurring feeling he showed was.