Tis The Season To Be Punk Rock (Crack Fic)

Chapter 4: The New Santas

John cena stood up, Tré looked at him like 'oh god'. Tré then screeched,
"IM SORRY--"
Tré went to run out of the punk rock mansion, but he rammed into wall. Tré flailed around on the ground, John flipped him over and GAVE HIM THE ADUTUDE AUJUSTMENT, and Tré went through the floor. All you could hear was distance screaming from the basement. Billie stared at John.
"Well he kinda deserved that, u don't suk."
Tré crawled out from the basement.
"I think he broke all my ribs."
He cried, and fell back in the basement. John smiled, and said.
"Where's the food?!"
Billie ran over to the corner and threw the pizza, expecting John to catch it but it hit Phil and he fell into dans arms.
"Oh my gosh!"
Dan shouted, looking up to the heavens.
"Philip has been wounded.. He must be healed."
Dan dragged Phil out of the house, going god knows where. Billie sighed.
"We're losing guests. Dang flabbit."

As the party rolled on, everyone was chilling and talking aboot their children or whatever. And Tré was still ded in the flor and Dan and Phil havent returned. Billzor decided to go on the balcony and take and few selfies cause the lighting was perf.
"Billie what are u doing?'
He heard Miok, Billie turned around and threw his phone at Mike in fear, instead the phone smashed on the wAll in the lil pieces. Billie screeched fell to the floor.
"Beej, wats--"

OUT OF NOWHERE A GUANT SLEIGH CRASHS INTO THE BALCAONY, the balcony crumples and breaks apart and falls onto the ground, Mike jumped up and saw a shiny sleigh, he saw magical reindeer decked out with Christmas stuff. Billie climbed back up using mikes leg and whirled around and saw the everything. Suddenly a fat man popped out from the sleigh.
"Oh my Jesus."
Billie muttered, Santa left his sleigh and stared the punks.
"Hi."
He said in a deep voice, Santa took off his hat and plopped it on billzors head.
"The sun is setting my homies."
Santa said, he pulled out elf clothes and handed them to moik,
"I am trusting you two to deliver the presents to the children of the world."
Mike magically poofed into the elf costume, Billie was also in a Santa suit all of a sudden.
"Why can't u deliver them?"
Billie asked, Santa tossed him a fake white beard.
"I need to catch up on my Twilight episodes."
Billie and Mike tilted their heads.
"U watch twilight?"
Billzor said, laughing a bit. Santa grabbed the collar of billies suit and forcibly dragged billiezor down so he was facing satan, oops I mean Santa.
"Listen u little midget."
Billie gasped in awe.
"I am not a midget!"
Santa ignored him.
"If u talk trash bout twilight I will drown u in coal."
Santa threw Billie away, and turned around stomping away.
"Good luck punks!"
Santa called and vanished into the dark.

"Okay what button do I press."
Billie looked at all the buttons on the sleigh, the sun was almost done and they had to start giving presents out.
"Idk, just press them all."
Mike said, poking a jingle bell on his hat.
"OKAY."
Billie smacked his hand on a bunch of buttons, sending the sleigh flying. Mike and Billzor were screaming in horror and held onto each other as the sleigh went higher. Billie hid under the seat in terror, but he peeked over the edge and saw they were above the clouds, billie let out a sigh. He sat back on the seat to see that a reindeer was gone.
"Oh."
Billie said, glancing at Mike, whO WASNT THERE. Billie let out a scream and looked over the edge to see Mike grasping onto a hook on the bottom of the sleigh.
"JESUS CHRIST OKAH MIEK."
Billie reached for Mikes hand and he ended up flinging Mike into the air and he landed on the seat.
"OH MY GOD THAT WAS AWRJSOME."
Billie screeched, Mike looked like he was about to die.
"That wuz.."
Mike finally said, Billie then screeched.
"HOLD IT! It's the firST HOUSE!"
The sleigh smacked onto the roof of a house, Mike pulled out he list and said the first name he saw.
"This boy's name is Levi Ackermann."
Billie grabbed something randomed from the sack of toys and it was a potato gun. Billie looked down the chimney.
"What if I die."
Billzor said to Mike, Mike was on his phone, patiently waiting for Billie.
"God dammnit."
Billie hopped down the chimney to see a white Christmas and a nice living room, Billie tossed the potato gun under the tree.

Billie heard a creak and looked where it was, it was a little boy with big black eyes and short black hair gazing at him.
"Are you santy claws!"
It must be Levi! His voice sounded deep for a little boy. Billie coughed then spoke in the deepest voice he could make.
"Yus boi, I am satan! Frick, I mean Santa."
Levi's eyes were bright, levi ran over and hugged Billie in the most adorable ever. Billie had to go, Billie patted Levi's head and climbed back up the chimney. He saw Mike flappy birding and Billie took his phone and threw it away.
"We are Santas! We don't have time to be a bird!"
Mike sighed.
"K you lil punk midget lets go."