last summer ↠ s.m

TEN

"How did you know?" She looked at him. The uneasy pit in her stomach had returned. "You said you knew. How?" She wondered. It seemed so complicated. She was sure she was careful. Maybe he was just really good, or she was sloppy.

He looked just as uneasy. "When I met you, I fell in love with the small things. The way your eyes lit up at the mention of small things like a book or show. Or how excited you'd get when we walked in the park. Your eyes shined so bright, even in dark times. And your mental state, it was always happy and airy. You'd always put a smile on my face at times when I forgot how. You were an optimist. The happiest person I knew." He smiled at this.

"That was the girl I fell in love with. The girl who was the optimist. The happiest girl on earth! But she faded. You faded. Your eyes never shined anymore, your words were kept to a minimum, you were always so scared of nervous. I could see it. I noticed, Lily, because I love you." He said, he was fighting back small tears that were forming in his eyes.

She looked at him, bewildered at the words, "love? As in, present tense? You still love me?" She asked. She was always good at noticing the tense of the words, she was like that for as long as she could remember. He simply nodded. He loved her so.

"it started last summer. You were gone and I was at a club. It started as a single one night stand, with this guy. And then when I woke up, he gave me his number. Told me to call him. And I did. And for the rest of the summer, I snuck around and, hooked up with him. My last one I ever had was last week. Then I told him no more." She said. This was so hard. She had to admit the ugly nature of her sneaking around.

"Why?" He asked. He didn't say anymore than that. He just asked why. She hated this question. Now she had to admit her motives, not just the nature of her sneaking around, but why. This was the hardest question of them all.

"I don't know. I always imagined him as you. Especially the one night stand where I was drunk and I thought it was you. The rest I was sober. I knew what I was doing. And I knew you could do it better but, I still did it. I don't know. The rush of feeling desired pushed thr—" She was cut off.

"Did you not feel that with me? Did you not feel desired with me? What is it?" He demanded answers, he yearned for them.

"I did! I just- I don't know, Shawn! I had no motives, it was all stupid and idiotic of me. I'm sorry!" She broke into tears. She was broken. She couldn't push past this. But he did nothing. He sat next to her, not touching her or even speaking to her, she just cried and he watched.

And he felt nothing.

— ☆ —

Sitting in silence seemed to be the only thing Shawn Mendes and Lily Woods were good at in their relationship. They used to be good at many things, being happy, kissing, affection, just their relationship in general was amazing. Envious, almost. Almost.

Now all they do is sit in silence. The love for each other had been buried too deep to dig up.

Their love was fire. And fire is catching. It catches onto simple things like material, food, objects. You name it. Their love was set to burn in flames. They didn't feel it physically, but mentally it burned. It hurt. It was worse than any Third Degree burn. Much worse.

Matter of fact, it was one of the only things they had in common. The burning desire to be close again. Sometimes Shawn would put his arm around Lily and hold her close. But it didn't feel close. She felt far.

Like she was in another world. That's how simple the relationship was.

He never left her. She never left him. They were stuck. Almost like a void. They were stuck in a place where they loved each other, but it wasn't working. But they couldn't let go.

It's almost a different side of the happy endings. It's not sad. It's not happy. It's not tragic. It's not joyful. It's not beautiful. It's not depressing.

It was just, an ending.

All good things must come to an end, yes. But it's our choice to let go. To admit it was over. If you can't do that,
If you can't realise it's over, you're going to be stuck.

In a void.

"I could do a final chapter & an epilogue??? lmao no let's not" - me 2k15 (when I wrote the book duh!)
thank u guys this book is finished and I'm so happy I hoped you guys liked it, even if you didn't, that's okay!!!! I love you guys lots! byE!!!! ♡

— macy