The Wounded Warrior Project

Deserving Him

I am NOT making Levi out to be a villain. Everything will be explained but Levi is in no means a cold-hearted bastard. Especially for someone who has read the manga. That is not the goal of this chapter at all.

~G~

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Nick sat beside Levi who still hadn't moved from the bedside. Levi's head was in his hands and his hair was a mess. He hadn't moved that entire week. His cravat hung untied around his neck, his coat had been thrown on the ground, and his shirt was only half-buttoned.

"Would you like some tea?" Nick asked, offering the white cup to Levi who didn't move. Nick sighed and placed it on the table where the other tea cups sat untouched and cold. "You need to eat something Levi."

"I've gone longer." He mumbled, not even moving. Nick sighed.

"You know that doing this won't help him get better." Levi glanced over at Nick.

"How am I supposed to eat when he is wasting away in a hospital bed?" Nick sighed.

"At least eat this." He offered Levi a piece of warm bread. "Come on, Hange went to a lot of trouble to make it..." Levi let out a dry laugh and took it.

"If Hange made it then how do I know it's even safe?" Nick smiled.

"If she hasn't poisoned me yet then I doubt she will poison you." Levi turned the bread over in his hands.

"Good point." He took a small bite and Nick had to avert his eyes from the hollowness of Levi's face. Levi wrinkled his nose slightly.

"She calls this food?" He scoffed but continued eating it. It was half gone before he set it aside and Nick smiled to himself. Maybe now Hange would leave him alone... Levi stared down at Erwin's sleeping fave and brushed his cheek.

"I don't deserve him." He whispered. Nick looked away awkwardly. He would leave but technically Levi was supposed to keep an eye on him... When he glanced back, he was met with Levi's intense gaze. "Have I ever told you that?" Nick frowned.

"Told me...?" Levi looked back at Erwin and lightly touched the empty space under the sheets where Erwin's arm should be.

"How much I owe him?" Nick swallowed.

"No..." Levi looked back at him.

"Only a few people know this and I don't know why I'm telling you but..." He sighed and rubbed his face, leaning back in his chair. "It all started with a brat named Eren Yeager..."

***

It had been months since Levi had seen Erwin. Ever since he had been promoted to Commander he had seen less and less of the man that he loved. And now he had been gone for what felt like eons. The last time they had been together was in a stuffy court room in which Levi had been busy beating up the new addition to his squad. And even then, they only had a few hours to enjoy themselves together afterwards before Erwin was swept back into duty.

"Fuck me." Levi muttered and grabbed the bottle, drinking a few enormous gulps before attempting to stand up but all he managed to do was topple over, causing the glass he had been using to fall and shatter on the floor.

"Is everything okay...?" Eren popped his head in and, seeing levi on the floor, ran over. "Heichou are you-"

"I fine." Levi growled and tried to stand up but toppled over again, spilling the drink on himself. "Shit." He muttered. Eren grabbed a towel from the kitchen and ran in, patting Levi dry. "Thanks." He muttered, words slurring as he took another drink.

"Heichou I think you've had enough of that..." Eren gently took the bottle from Levi and put it on the table. "We should get you to your bed." Eren muttered as he tried to pull the older man to his feet. But the ground was slick from the spilled drink and Eren only managed to fall and land on top of him. "Ah! I'm so sorry I didn't mean-" but he was silenced by Levi's lips on his own. Eren pulled back. "Heichou what are you-?"

"Shut up." Levi growled and pulled Eren back down. Somewhere beyond the haze in his head, Levi could hear the silent protests that was his reason but in his drunken haze, he could easily ignore them.

"Sh-shouldn't we go somewhere else?" Eren managed around Levi's lips. Levi blinked and shoved the brat away. His harness was already half undone.

"Yeah." He muttered. Eren helped Levi to his feet and dragged him to his room, dropping him on the bed before closing the door.

"Okay..." Eren sighed. Levi struggled to sit up.

"Eren." The younger turned at the sound of his name, surprised to hear it from Levi's lips.

"Yeah?" Eren walked over to stand in front of the smaller man.

"I want you to understand that I'm not doing this out of affection for you." Pain briefly crossed Eren's eyes before he dropped his gaze. "Do you understand?" Eren hesitated and then nodded.

"Yeah. I get it." Levi rubbed his face. The brat was adorable when he was upset wasn't he...?

"If you don't want to anymore I under-"

"No!" Eren looked up but blushed and glanced back down. "I-I mean... No that's okay. I'm fine with it." Levi narrowed his eyes but beckoned Eren who complied and stood in front of the corporal shyly.

"What are you waiting for then?"

***

"You cheated on him?" Levi sighed and rubbed his face.

"Yeah. I did." He whispered. "I was such an idiot for doing so." Levi ran a hand through his unruly hair. "And I didn't tell him for so long." Nick glanced sideways at the sleeping man. "In my defense he was away for a long time but... That's still no excuse."

"When did you tell him? And what happened?" Levi sat forward, resting his head in his hands and his elbows on his knees.

"Hange was the one who made me. She said that if I didn't tell him then she would."

***

"You can stop following me now." Levi growled.

"Not until I know you told him."

"At least give us some privacy shitty glasses!" Hange stopped in her tracks.

"Levi I'm sorry-"

"No." He paused with his hand in the door. "This is right." And then he knocked.

"Come in." Levi sighed and looked back at Hange one last time before pushing through the door. The spacious room was filled with shelves of books with a large desk in the middle in front if a large window. The curtains were pulled back as usual. They were always like that unless he and Erwin were being a bit... Personal.

"Ah. Levi." Erwin pushed aside his papers and the bowl of rice he had been eating. "Is something wrong?" Levi laughed gently but it carried no happiness.

"You know me too well." Erwin went to stand but Levi shook his head. "Don't. I don't deserve your gentleness." Erwin lowered himself and furrowed his brow.

"Levi what's wrong?" Levi avoided Erwin's eyes and tried to fight the tears he felt in his own.

"I was drunk." He muttered, voice cracking. "I hadn't seen you in so long... I'm sorry."

"Levi what are you-?"

"I cheated on you!" Levi sobbed, collapsing to his knees. "With that shitty titan brat." The sobbing was uncontrollable now and it was the only sound that filled the room. Erwin sat at his desk, cup half-raised to his mouth as understanding began to visibly shake him. Shattering filled the near silence and Levi looked up to see blood and tea dripping from Erwin's fist where the cup used to be.

"Get out." He whispered but Levi couldn't move. "I said get out!" He screamed, slamming his hands on the desk and standing. Levi scrambled to his feet. "I never want to see you again! Get the hell out of my life!" Levi tripped and landed hard against the door, managing to throw it open and stumble into the hallway. He barley made it to his room before his legs gave out.