Filthy Paradise

"Hold Me Please."

I seriously feel like I update this one way too much

Oh imagine that Elena is Sugar and Damon is Soda. Okay? Cool thanks.

Anywhore enjoy the update
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Sugar's Pov

We sit in silence as I look at them. They all look disappointed in me. They look sad, tired, fad up with what I've said.  I fiddle with my fingers as I feel a lump form in my throat and my chest tighten.

"That's not true..Please tell me that's not true." Soda speaks with his voice cracking.

I continue messing with my fingers, letting my brown hair fall into my eyes. My head shakes yes, my hair making movement.

"No." Darry repeats over and over.

He stands up with his hands hooked to the back of his neck. "Darry, it's okay. I'm okay." I tell him standing up. I walk up to him and hug him.

His arms wrap me in a hug, tight as if I'm going to disappear. "Your not okay, you're beyond from being okay and you know that baby." Darry tells me with his voice cracking.

I push away from his warm hug. My hand wipes across my face, taking the tears with. I continue telling them what I'm feeling and some idea what happened."I-It was awful." I speak out as I begin to pace. "It was terrible. I could of died out there." My voice shouting. "I stole things, I was stealing to survive. Those fucking Soc's took my money," I wipe my nose with my sleeve, "well your money." I throw my head in Darry's direction. I take a pause as I realize what all has happened. "Fine I admit it, I'm not okay. I feel like I can't breathe in this house, like I'm suffocating. I only see them using me as some greaser, some rotten hood. I feel like I don't know how to live anymore." I look through my blurry vision at them. "I only know how to survive." I stop trying to catch my breathe as sobs peak out through my mouth. My insides feel sad, really sad. It's like they're melting within me.

My world begins to crumble beneath me as I fall to the ground. My arms wrap around my knees as I bring them closer. My head falls into my arms as I try to control my breathing along with the tears. I feel my face heat up as my fist clench together. I'm becoming angry. I was never angry when I was alone. I was more happy and well, more hurt than anything.

I lift my head from my bent legs. "This is all wrong, everything's all wrong!" I tell them. I look straight at Pony. "This isn't what it's suppose to be like when I got home. I'm not ready to be home. I don't wanna be home." I cry out.

Pony looks at me with his soft eyes. They hold so much sadness and pain. Everyone's eyes are sad, really sad, some even drip water. "You're meant to be home, home with us." Two speaks up.

My head snaps over to Two- Bit at hearing him speak. "And what do you know about being at home?" I seethe. "You're rarely at yours," I speak with my teeth clenching together, "your always here eating our cake and drinking beer!" I scream. I shoot up from the ground as I begin to pace back and forth. I feel dizzy and enraged.

"Sugar, breathe." Soda's soft voice peaks out through my heavy breathing.

"No! No!" I scream stomping my feet. "I will not breathe. I will not calm down. I don't wanna be here. How else can I tell you guys that?" I question blowing some hair out of my face.

"But we want you here, can't you see that?" Johnny states, his voice quiet.

" 'Course I can see that Johnny. God did give me two eyes for a reason." I roll my eyes at his ridiculous comment. "I just don't wanna be here, you guys dig?" I spit out. My hands clench and unclench, my jaw does the same. I'm furious. I don't know why I'm mad though, why I'm causing such a big scene. There are just some answers we'll never get.