Filthy Paradise

"Yes, Just Tired."

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Sugar's Pov

"Whatta ya want Randle?" I question flicking the ash from my weed onto the sidewalk.

"Just to talk is all." He replies.

"I highly doubt that." I snap. I flick the cigarette onto the ground. I watch the cherry burn, it being the only bright thing that holds my attention. 

"Come on Sugar, you can talk to me." Steve pries.

"I already told you guys everything." I reply. My hands rub over my face in a tired haze. "Do you want me to even get better?" I quiz looking over at him with my eyebrow raised.

"I do, I really do." He expresses loudly. "I just think there's more to it like you're not telling us everything." He tells me with curiosity in his voice.

"Listen here Steve I told you guys everything that I remember.  Some things were spotty, I can't honestly tell you every little detail. A lot happened to me in those weeks I was surviving. You know not once did I live while I was away. That's all I wanted, but instead I only thrived to survive." I confess with my hand resting on my cheek that's resting on my knee. "So you wanna keep questioning me about what happened or are ya gonna shut your trap and leave me alone?" I seethe.

"Sugar...Sugar, Sugar." He clicks his tongue as he takes a long drag before flicking it into the yard.

"What?" I question.  I can feel my temper running thin with Steve's nonsense.

"I don't think of you as a tag along." He begins to say but stops. I look from the ground to him. He sits there resting on his elbows looking straight ahead. He looks lost in thought. "I actually find you quite entertaining." He confesses.

"Flake off Steve. You're just saying that. I know how you feel about Pony and I. You don't like us, you're only nice to us when Sodapop's around." I snap.

He huffs as he pushes himself up off his elbows and off the steps. " We're here for you Sugar. We don't hate you, we're just worried. Remember that." I hear his shoes thump against the porch and the screen door slam loudly.

My hands rub all over my face as I huff. I light another cigarette. I don't take any drags, I just stare at it as the weed burns along with smoke floating into the air. I don't even want this. I don't know why I lit it just not to smoke it. I squish the burning cherry into the sidewalk. I proceed to flick it somewhere into the yard. I just sit on the steps debating if I wanna go in or not. I need to go in and face them once more, but out here it's so peaceful.

Finally deciding that I've sat out here long enough. I huff as I stand up. My hand subconsciously goes to wipe my butt off from anything that could be stuck to it. Stepping inside the screen door slams. I stand by the door rubbing my eyes as I never realized how tired I've become.

"Hey Sug." Soda says looking at me from the kitchen table. Pony sits across from him with a book in hand. All Pony does is read, he doesn't really live. I guess he lives through the books he reads.

"Hey." I reply continuously rubbing my eyes. My hand goes to my mouth covering my yawn.

"You tired?" He asks setting down his cup of chocolate milk.

"Very tired." I reply. My body feels sluggish, so very sluggish. "I'm gonna go to bed." I send a wave to everyone as I get a chorus of "nights" and "sleep tights".

I open the door to Darry and I's room. My mouth opens in shock as I look at the glass on the carpet. The old vanity that belonged to mom is broke. The money jar he tried hiding from me is broke as well. I take large steps over to the broken mirror and small pieces of wood. My hands go to my mouth as I feel tears fall from my eyes. He broke it! He broke the one thing mom said was mine!