The Bucket List [Harry Styles fanfic]

Chapter 25

1. Cliff diving **COMPLETE**

2. Go to London

3. Get a pet dog

4. Have an excuse to scream YOLO **COMPLETE**

5. meet someone famous **COMPLETE**

6. learn to play an instrument **COMPLETE**

7. have a flashmob

8. go to an amusement park **COMPLETE**

9. write a song **COMPLETE**

10. Fall in love

It's been one week since that day when I told Harry about my cancer. It's been the hardest week of my life. I'm now back at my house in Chicago with my mom. I couldn't stand seeing Harry so sad and angry any more so I left. 

***********One Week ago*********

"Harry I have cancer," I state simply. I'm tired of living with this secret. Harry deserves to know about what I'm going through. A good relationship is built on honesty and trust. But it's hard. Even those 4 words caused me so much pain. It's amazing what the word cancer can do to a person. 

"No you don't your lying to me," Harry says the tears already falling from both our eyes. His face is full of hurt, pain, and shock, but I can tell that he is trying so hard to believe that it's not true. 

"I wish I was but sadly I'm not." The tears are coming out harder now and they can't stop. "I was diagnosed about 32 weeks ago with Leukemia. It's an extreamly aggressive case so they told me that I only had one year to live. That's why I really wanted to get my bucket list done because I don't have much time left. Only 20 weeks to be exact." 

"Why didn't you tell me before?" Harry whispered his voice cracking. He was crying really hard now, as was I. 

"You know how hard it is to tell the person that you love that you are going to die? I can barely tell you now. I was afraid that when I told you, you would leave to find someone that would be there forever. I was afraid that I would lose something that means so much to me, which is us." The tears were falling fast and hard now. This is the hardest thing I have ever done. 

"I didn't want you to treat me differently. I honestly don't think that you would have dated me if I told you right away about my cancer. Or you would have treated me so gently and you would have been over protective and we wouldn't have had as much fun or have had as many fun adventures. I just wanted to live my life normally for awhile."

I look at Harry's face to see what he was thinking. It was hard to tell what he was thinking but I could tell that he was upset. He covers his head with his hands to catch the tears that were falling. 

"Harry please say something," I beg.

"What is there to say?" He says uncovering his face. "I don't know how to react to this. I want to tell you that it's all ok and that I will be there until the end but that's a big thing to say. I Love you a lot Erin but It's hard to think that you won't be around. I hate the thought of spending more time with a person that won't be around forever."

"What are you saying Harry? Are we done?"

"I don't know." 

"This is the time I need you most and you want to leave me?" It was my turn to be speechless. I knew that I shouldn't have told him. "This is why I didn't tell you. Can you just please leave me alone." 

I see Harry walk back into the main part of the bus. I just sit there for a moment wondering what happened. Just yesterday we were having a good time and he ws protecting me from other men but now. I don't even know what is happening with us. Are we done? Is he just trying to figure this out but he will be with me until the end? These thoughts envelop me as I drift into a dreamless sleep. 

Once the drive was over and we reached the hotel I packed up my stuff and left not even bothering to say good bye to the boys I didn't want to risk seeing Harry. 

**************Present*************

The boys have tried calling me but I refuse to answer. Every once in while I will send one of the boys a text that says "I'm fine" or "Ask Harry what's wrong". I don't want to tell them much more than that. I don't want to be there when they find out that I have cancer. I don't even know if Harry told them or not but I honestly don't care It's not like I'll see them again soon. 

During this time Anna has been the best friend that a girl can ask for. She has gotten me countless buckets of ice cream, movies, and she has barely left my side. Now that school is done for her she has slept at my house every night and has been with me everyday. The only time she has left the house is when she is getting more food or movies. 

Anna's reaction was quite different than Harry's. She was really upset but she never left. In fact we grew closer because of this. Harry was upset but he left, Anna stayed with me through thick and thein. She is really scared by the thought of me dying but she knows that I am at my weakest state and has been my rock and my sholder to cry on. 

I wanted Harry to be the same way. I wanted him to set me on his lap and tell me that everything would be fine. I wanted him to tell me that this was all a bad dream and that I would be ok and be his forever. I wish he would have told me that no matter what he would love me and be there for me.

My mom is doing a lot better and has gotten a job at a local cafe so we can hve more money to pay bills. That woman is a saint. She has given everything up for me like her time, money, and she was willing to let me go with Harry and the boys to protect me from my dad. 

"Hey babe I got more ice cream and some more movies," Anna yells as she walks in the door 

"Thank you!" I yell from the couch. We have spent pretty much all week on either this couch or my bed. You never realize what it's really like to be lazy until your heat gets broken. 

"Which movie do you want to watch? I have Perks of being a Wallflower, The Avengers..." 

"The Avengers!" I yell cutting her off. 

"Well ok then," She says laughing as she starts putting the movie in. 

"Ok which pint of ice cream do you want?" I ask.

"I'll take mint chocolate since you don't like that as much,"

"Your the best you know that right?" I say as I hand her the ice cream and take my cookie dough. 

"Oh, I know," She says giving me a wink before she starts the movie. 

About half way through the movie and one pint of ice cream later I hear the door bell ring. 

"I'll get it," I say getting up off the couch. I walk to the door and open it to see someone I didn't except at my door. "Harry?" 

AUTHOR'S NOTE!!

Hey guys <3 I hope you like this chapter!! This is where it all went down! and sorry for another cliff hanger! hahaha

So this chapter is dedicated to dontlookatmepeasant because she forced me to update!!!! ....Timmy.... only she would understand that!! :D 

LOVE YOU ALL SO MUCH!!! 

~Kayla