Tiger's Eye (On Hold. Sorry!)

Tiger's Eye: Chapter 6

Hello there!

Sorry for being so late on the upload! This was a combination of finding it really hard to get the emotions right this chapter and going on a last minute trip. I hope you enjoy it anyway! xxx

............................................................................

Walking back to the living room my body was filled with warmth and child like contentment. The pendant felt like fire against my skin. It didn’t feel like anything in the world could ever go wrong again. It didn’t matter that rain hammered like stones against the windows, or that Rose was acting strangely, or that I could never shake off the haunting memories of the labs. For at least a moment I was in my own bubble of oblivious happiness.

The grin on my face widened and I leant up to plant a kiss against Alexander’s cheek, my heart thundering as it had become accustomed to in his presence. I felt heat rise within my own cheeks. He didn’t meet my eyes but laced his fingers through mine with a smile and led the way into the living room.  

The four girls had settled themselves around the group of sofas. Mum and Sally sat beside one another chatting animatedly. Maya sat close by in a recliner telling some sort of story to Rose who sat opposite. She was absorbed and I was happy to see that her eyes had lost their worried shimmer. Camille was curled close to her mother’s side. Her saucer eyes were closed, thick black lashes lying against her cheeks. I wanted to snuggle up beside her and share in her peaceful dreams. The sort I would never have by myself.  

Mum’s eyes flickered up to meet mine and I caught a second of emotion in their icy depths. Sadness, worry, pain. 

I felt my stomach and smile drop.  

* * *  

The breakfast tray in my hands was shaking wildly, even with both hands clamped tightly around it. My knuckles were turning white and my fingers ached with the tension. The tall glass of orange juice was dangerously close to spilling all over the breakfast I had spent particular care over making this morning. My heart was making a racket, too, threatening to burst out of my chest. 

Today was the day I had promised myself, finally, that I would tell mum about Alexander. On the day of my return and after talking to him, I had sprinted up the stairs, all weariness evaporated from my body, and let the tangled tale of being offered up for the position of Alpha fall out of my lips. Excitement had overtaken me and I couldn’t get the words out fast enough. But those of Alex stayed firmly locked and hidden away inside, and if she ever mentioned who I was paired with I had quickly steered her away from the subject. 

Now I was sick of lying to her and treating him like he was some dirty secret. They both deserved so much better than that. Guilt weighed heavy on my shoulders, making my stomach roll every time I saw either of them. The feeling had grown and grown throughout the week, until, tossing and turning in my bed, I knew it would swallow me whole if I kept it a secret any longer. 

How much I wished that I had it as ridiculously easy as the girl in the human teenage drama that had been on television this morning, the only difficulty with her boyfriend being his motorcycle and apparent penchant for tight leather trousers. How much I wished that Alexander could just be a nobody to mum, the same unbelievably perfect person but a total stranger. How much I wished that something as stupid and petty as a family name wouldn’t be the divide between them. But in this world, despite all my wishing, it would be. It would be a huge, massive, gaping canyon between them, each of them on opposite sides and me into the space between. And I hated it. I hated Sole. 

I took a shaky breath and gently pushed open the bedroom door with my shoulder. Without a squeak I padded into the bedroom with the rattling tray finally under control. Mum lay curled under the duvet looking more peaceful than she had in days, breath gentle and rhythmic. She reminded me of a small child lying there so quiet and defenceless. A little whisper in my head told me that I should just leave and let her rest. I told myself to shut up and stop stalling.