Loving Rain (Watty Awards 2011)

Chapter 12 - The Hole

Loving Rain - Ch. 12

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               I cried for days. The most important thing in my life was finally completely gone. All I had left was this dark, cold, empty room and memories of how I had lived before the Monster took me over. I almost wished that the memories had also left, though, because they were more like ghosts of my past that hid in the dark corners of my mind, waiting to come out and scare me.

               Who wouldn’t be scared of images of a strong, determined girl in love, when now all that remained was a poor, broken soul?

               I had become silent, too. Before, I had sometimes whispered things to myself to make sure my voice was still usable, in case someone wanted to talk to me. But now I knew that there would be no one who cared about what I would ever have to say, and the sound of my voice just informed me of how useless it was. I didn’t see a point in even trying.

               Sleep became more and more of a refuge. Sure, the memories still forced their way into my dreams, but at least in my sleep I didn’t feel the need to be scared of the ghosts. There, they were happy portrayals, because that’s what I had been. Happy. Every day. I dreamed about the most ridiculous things, too. Whole nights would be devoted just to a vision of me sitting beside the fire with Alan reading a book. Nothing important, nothing interesting at all. Just reminders of how simple, easy, and full of love my life had once been. In my dreams, Alan was still himself. But when I was awake, I couldn’t even call him by his name, or the ghosts would terrorize me nonstop.

               If it hadn’t have been for the food, all my days would have just ran together. Once a day (or thereabout, I guess I really didn’t know for certain), I would be aroused by the clanking of metal on the floor, and there would be a dish of food deposited through the hole the Monster had created on the last day I saw him. I would pick it up, carry it over to my mattress, eat it all, and then push the dishes back through the hole. The harsh sound the dishes made was the only thing I would hear for about two months.

               But then something else came through the hole. It didn’t seem to sting the stone like I was used to, and so at first I questioned whether or not I had actually heard anything. Eventually, I decided that I had nothing better to do, so I might as well go check.

               It seemed to be a deep pan-like container, and it was filled with sand. I bent down to it, and ran my hands through it for a while, wondering what it was for. Did they just expect me to figure it out? It couldn’t be… my food, could it? No, I thought to myself. The Monster would never be that cruel.

               Footsteps sounded ever so quietly on the other side of my door and I froze. My head and heart started pounding in time with each other, and my breaths were shallow and painfully loud. I wanted to run safely back to the far corner of the room, but I couldn’t will my legs to carry me at all. Suddenly the footsteps stopped, and I felt something sharp get pushed through the hole and land on my lap with a shriek.

               My hands went to it immediately, since the sharp parts had dug into my skin, and I didn’t even have time to wonder what it was before I touched it. There’s no way…

               But the soft fur removed any doubt I might have. Milky Way sat in my lap, and he must’ve automatically realized who I was too, because he started rubbing up against me and purring. My fingers reacted to him before my mind did, and I petted him for the first time since I had been thrown in this prison over seven months ago.

               I still didn’t know what the pot full of sand was for, but I moved it over a little bit so my food wouldn’t land in it and carried Milky Way over to my mattress, snuggling my face into his familiar coat. He smelled exactly as I remembered. His rough tongue tickled my face, and I didn’t even care. I had Milky Way back. My cat was in here with me. I had a friend… kind of. But I still didn’t know why he was here, and that scared me.