The Life Of Selena Caribbean Blue

The Fear

   As I was thinking and I didn't realize I walked to the car, but I got in because I wanted to drive it including as I cranked it;I started to feel scared while I was just sitting in the car. It felt like fear and I know I shouldn't drive myself yet because of what just happened two months ago including that's when I started to push my foot on the gas, but really I felt like I would die if I drove. It was already too late because I was already driving and I couldn't stop, but fear was getting to me of how I see my visions on a train track where the accident happened including I couldn't even driving anymore so I pulled over. The strangest thing was someone is following and when they got out of the car, but no worries it was Devin because I think he is worried about me including as soon as I started to reach for the lock button the car door; he opened up the driver's side door. He saw the fear in my eyes and he told me to scoot over to the passenger side, but I did because I didn't want to handle anything anymore including all I want to do is let him hold me tightly and never let me go forever till I was all better.
     That was never going to happen because he had plans and he is too busy for me including why is that he always has plans to avoid me, but who cares I rather be alone. I never let him see me cry or shed a tear because I don't want him to see me depressed, but I turned to the window trying to hold back my tears as we were in the car together including he turned up the radio to listen to his music. Then, he dropped me off at home and he drove away so fast, but I started to cry including I knew he texted me a while ago saying he wanted us to take a break until I recover from my depression. As I walked in the house, I walked in my bedroom, but I was too upset to even lay down and I went back to my car including my aunt drove pass. She decided to drove that car home and she went back to her to go get it, but I told her I was trying to get back in the process of driving including she hushed me up before I could've say more; she told me I'm going back to school tomorrow because I've seem to be getting better and the truth I wasn't even better I was really trying to kill myself before Devin came to save my valuable life that I have right now in this, but I had no parents.
   Without saying the truth I decided to lie and I went up to my room, but I really cried including I locked my bedroom door because I didn't want anyone to know I was in fear, but most thing of all I was scared. It became night time and I cried myself to sleep, but the most thing was I couldn't stop thinking about Devin including couldn't stop what he said about us taking a break. When I turned on my side I saw my parents in a picture frame with me in the middle beside my big brother and I couldn't help, but cry out my feelings because I missed them so much. I felt my heart breaking even more and I couldn't help, but remembering I still cry myself to sleep including I got up to go to the bathroom connected to my room. As I was in I found my sleeping pills, but I decided to finally take one and I really didn't want to go to school because Devin was there including he might replace me; that was my biggest fear of all and the medicine kicked in as I was crying myself to sleep with the fear in my mind including I blacked out and the words out of my mouth goodnight cruel world that I'm living in now.

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