They are watching

Don't look back

Heavy breathing, sweat dripping from my neck. I can feel them. They are watching me. I can't run what would my friends say if I just got up and ran out. That I'm mad, that I am looking for attention. I know I'm losing my mind and it get worse every year after my birthday. There is something behind me. Breathing down my neck. Ever time I look around no one is there but they are still watching. There is only one time I see them and it's the night before my birthday. I look out into my garden and in the bushes, there, red burning eyes. They scare me and make my heart beat faster. The eyes always look at me, watching me but yet I can't do anything.

I have once, when I was 10, went down to see who or what was watching but once I go outside they disappear but they come back when I'm in my room again. It's like they are scared when I come near but why? I only know they appear every year since the night before my 5th birthday. My parents told me it was a nightmare and I had dreamed the eyes.

Every day after I felt eyes on me and someone was watching me. My parents got scared I was turning mad. They took me to a doctor. They were told I was not mad but only trying to get their attention. Yet after every punishment, every shouting, I still keep feeling those eyes on me. One day when I was 8 my parents sent me to a care home. They thought it might help if I got away. I knew they hated me and thought I was a devil child. They stopped loving me after I was 6, I think they only kept me because they thought I would get cured after so long. I never did.

To this day I live with my friend. We bought a flat together. She works night shifts so she is never home at night. Her name is Shadow. Well her real name no one knows. She was dumped at the care home when she was 1 year old. All they found on her was a letter telling them her birthday, where she came from and any medical needs. She had no name so the kids called her shadow. We became friends when I arrived at the care home and we have been friends since. Shadow is 18 and has a boyfriend, Scot. He come here sometimes but they mostly go to his.

I have had boyfriends but I stopped dating after my last one was killed in a car crash. All my boyfriends I have had died some how. They died either car crashes, house fires, illness or suicides. I get told don't blame myself but I know it is. It has a pattern too, well from what I gathered. My first boyfriend he was nice. I kissed him the 2 week and the next day he dies in a house fire. I thought then it was not my fault. I stopped telling myself after the third. I saw that every time I kissed them they died. So I have killed 5 boys, all had fallen in love with me, all died in love with me. 

I watch my friends, laughing and free of the eyes. They all know my condition and they still hang around with me. I told myself I can never love them like I want to in case it's not the kiss but loving me is what does it. They all feel sorry for me and I don't like that. I hate being pitied on and I hate it more when it's my friends.

"Cat, you want to come with" Shadow asks. They must have been making plans and me not listening. I can still feel the eye, they are listening in and waiting. 

"Uh I don't know" I hope they might try and persuade me so I know what they are talking about.

"Come on Cat, it's Scot's gig at my bar, you have to come" Scot's gig I forgot. Scot plays in a band he sings and there is two other guys. The thing is watching but feels closer like it is moving.

It is getting closer and closer now. Is it coming for me now. Infront of my friends. "NO" I scream as someone puts their hand on my shoulder.