Adopted by Zerrie

11.

Perrie and Zayn made up, but they didn't start dating again. I had hoped they would, but Zayn said he needed to break away from everything. He has kept his promise with me and is interested in my life just like a father would be, and I couldn't be more thankful.

Theres only 2 months left until the due date of my little baby, and honestly I'm not ready. We don't even have the nursery done, or names picked out. I told Perrie she could name the baby since she was so kind to take me in. She refused at first, but then accepted.

Today we were going to work on the nursery, Perrie called some guy friends over to help. We had already gotten a crib, it was a beautiful white one, with the changing table attached to the side. We also got a bunch of cute pink frilly things - Perrie's idea - and some paint. The paint was a pale purple, and she also picked up some white paint to add some designs to the wall.

Since I couldn't be around when they painted the nursery, with the paint fumes and being pregnant, I went downstairs. I made myself some lunch, and then went to watch some t.v. Nothing was on, except some reality shows, so I settle for watching one of those. It passed the time by pretty well.

By the time the nursery was done, I had already fallen asleep. Perrie had to wake me up, so she could show me. She was so excited that I couldn't help but smile. I followed her up the stairs and into the nursery.

It was beautiful. The wall behind the crib was pale purple, with a white tree painted on it. Then the other walls were white with purple stripes. The rest of the furniture was white or light grey , and the window had light purple curtains covering it. It was a beautiful room, and perfect for this little baby.

"It's perfect," I said, and tears started forming in my eyes. I didn't like it, I was never a person who expressed her emotions in front of people. Perrie awed, and then came over giving me a big hug. If only she knew why I was crying.

It wasn't because I wanted this, or even liked it. It's not me, I lied. I don't want this and it's all just becoming too real. Becoming a mom is tough on its own, let alone at the age of 16! I had to tell her, I couldn't hold it in any more.

"Perrie, uh, is it okay if I talk to you?" I asked. "Alone?"

"Of course! Boys, thank you for all your help, you can see yourself out I'm assuming." They nodded and walked out of the room.

I closed the door behind them, and then sat down in the rocking chair.

"What's up?" Perrie asked.

"Alright... here goes nothing. I don't want this. By this I mean motherhood. I've been holding this in for the longest time. But this just isn't me. I can't be a mother at 16, I didn't ask for this. I was forced into this. I really don't want to be a bitch and talk about my child like this... but I just can't do it." I cried out, sobbing. Perrie came over and knelt in front me me.

"Listen, babe, it's okay. No one said you had to do this alone. It's hard, anybody with a brain can figure that out. But you have been so strong through this so far, and you only have 2 months left. You can hold on a little bit longer, and I promise it will all be worth it when you see her little face," Perrie placed her hand on my knee, trying to comfort me. I shook my head.

"No! I don't want to be a mother. I don't want that type of burden placed on me at so young. I don't want to go out with everyone staring at me and judging, thinking I'm just some teen that got knocked up by her boyfriend. That's not what happened, and they won't ever know that. I have been thinking..." I paused, taking a deep breath before continuing. "I want you to raise this child. I want you to be the mother you've dreamed of being, and have her turn out just like you imagined. You can't have kids, so I want to give you that opportunity." 

At this point I looked up into Perrie's eyes. She was crying, but there was pain behind those tears. I could tell she wanted to say yes, but at the same time, she wanted to encourage me to keep the baby. 

"Cece, I can't take your baby from you." 

"You're not taking her, you are adopting her. Giving her a better life than I can ever give her. You can look after her, and not have to worry about me. I can get a job, and move on with my life."

Perrie shook her head and got up, walking out of the room. I was shocked. Does she not want to be a mother?