Don't Let Me Be Gone (Twenty One Hours)

Not Real

"So, do I dare ask what happened with Jenna? You seem upset." The cute red-head asked him as they walked out of the party. She seemed concerned but Tyler wasn't sure if it was for him or for his wife.

"Do I?" Tyler put on his best fake smile. He wasn't really sure why he said he'd escort her to her room, but being around her felt better than moping around solo. He definitely didn't want to dwell on what could possibly be the end of his marriage and the burn he still felt on the side of his cheek. So he pushed his misery aside and decided to make small talk. "So how long have you known Jenna? She told me you guys met in school but she never said when."

"It was during her last year at State. We had Communication technology together. But I haven't really kept in touch with her. We only just connected again on Facebook recently.  Like, two weeks ago, maybe?"

"So you guys aren't close?"

Stephanie sort of shrugged and looked really uncomfortable. "Well, we used to be. You know how it is after school."

"Ah, not really." Tyler usually wasn't usually embarrassed that he dropped out of college. But for some reason he cared what Stephanie thought about being a drop-out, so he hoped she wasn't completely aware of his situation. Who knew what Jenna had told her though.

"No? Well, we've had some great chats since re-connecting. And when she told me she was heading to Detroit when I'd be here in Windsor, we just sort of decided to hang out." She shrugged. They walked in silence for a few moments. Tyler was trying to think of something charming to say or funny. But he really didn't have it in him so he was relieved when she started up again.

"You know, Jenna was all gung-ho about getting your friend Josh a girl."

"Oh right, you and Josh were supposed to hook up!" He had completely forgotten how stoked Josh had been about meeting this girl. Why hadn't he made his move earlier? Maybe he didn't notice that he tried and got shot down.

"Hook up? Really? Ha. He hardly made eye contact with me all night. Besides, I told Jenna to be realistic. I have a busy schedule, you guys seem to be on the road a lot, I live in NYC, you guys are in LA. I mean, it didn't make a lot of sense to me."

"So why agree to it then?"

"I didn't! Well, it wasn't me, but as soon as I mentioned the two of you coming over to Kevin he would not let me say no. He loves you guys so much, it's actually a little embarrassing."

"Embarrassing? How?"

"The singing, the dancing, mostly in public."

Tyler laughed. "He seems fun though."

"Oh he's great! He's a great boss and I'm learning a lot, but..." she seemed unsure if she should go on.

"You can tell me."

"Well, I mean, I have my Master of Arts degree, don't ask me how the hell I managed to wind up working for Kevin! It's just really not my scene. You know, hanging with celebrities, all the pizzazz, and hoopla surrounding it. I'd rather be at home reading a good book or watching Netflix. I don't know how Jenna does it. She seems to handle it well."

"Ya, that's the problem."

Stephanie didn't say anything at first. She just looked up at Tyler who seemed lost in thought. He was so much different than she thought he would be. Josh had seemed fun, but not very interested in her. At the party he was all about making Jenna laugh. But Tyler was a bit of a surprise, she had only heard a couple of his band's songs on the radio and she had seen some of the photos Jenna had posted of them together. But by the way Jenna spoke about him she was expecting some arrogant smart-ass. Instead, the guy she walked beside seemed reflective, honest and a little depressed. It was obvious that he and Jenna had just had a fight, but instead of being angry or running off to find her, here he was, keeping her company regardless of how shitty he felt. It made her feel special in some way. But she shook the feeling off. She knew she was just ordinary and he was trying to be polite. 

She finally said, "so you guys are having problems huh?"

Tyler snapped back to reality, he'd gone off again in his mind watching Jenna smile at everyone but him. He glanced quickly at Stephanie, then away to red carpeted floor. "Sorry, I shouldn't really be talking to you about this. It's complicated."

"You gonna change your Facebook status?"

Tyler half hardheartedly chuckled. "Probably not."

"So, then, you'll work it out?" She sort of nudged his arm with her elbow.

Tyler let out a long breath between his lips making his cheeks puff out until he was finished exhaling. "I don't really know if I want to... God, listen I don't know why I'm telling you any of this, I feel... lost, I feel like I'm not being real, like none of it was real like I love another Jenna that once was but not what I've made her into and I feel horrible that I've ruined her."

"Tyler," Stephanie grabbed his arm and pulled him to a stop. "You didn't ruin Jenna, you didn't do anything wrong, Jenna is her own person. If your marriage is failing it's probably got a lot more to do with what's going on with her than anything you're doing wrong."

Tyler felt that this creature, this strange new face standing in front of him was being sincere, she seemed like she actually cared about what he was going through. She looked straight at him without any hesitation and he absorbed the intensity of her rich green eyes and suddenly it felt like he was present, like he'd just been placed on solid ground. It was a weird but comforting feeling. Then something registered. "So what's going on with Jenna?"