Hello

They Sat Time's Supposed To Heal Ya

Magnus was an idiot. Sure, it was a simple thing to get Jace to tell him where Alec had moved to--did anyone really expect him to not notice the boy's absence--but that wasn't the only thing in his way.

It had been twelve years since they sat on that rooftop at the end of everything. Twelve years since Magnus handed Alec his life written in looping script, and after a kiss that gave him hope, Alec gave it back to him. He knew Alec didn't do it to be cruel. But it still felt as though that was the intention.

In the aftermath, Magnus became close to Jace. When asked about it, he said that it was because Tessa had asked him to watch over her family (Herondale's always were reckless). Jace knew better, but he let the lie stand.

Later, Jace asked Magnus to come and help train the next generation of Shadowhunters. To say that Magnus was surprised was an understatement.

Everything was so boring without Alec there. No more running around trying to save people, no more arguing with Shadowhunters about equality and fairness. No more looking into his beautiful blue eyes and knowing that the hell--literally--he had gone through was worth it. Magnus sat on his couch petting his cat feeling entirely too sorry for himself when Jace came through the door.

"By the Angel. Now this is pathetic," he said, noticing that Magnus was still in pajamas, not a touch of makeup and the overwhelming scent of Chinese food.

"Do spare me the lecture. You came for a reason. So speak, then leave," was Magnus's reply. Jace shook his head. It seemed it was one of the bad days. He could push it, normally he would, but he was here to ask a favor.

"Do you want to help train Will and Amanda?" That got Magnus's attention. He sat up, and placed Chairman Meow down on the floor.

"Why would you want me, Blondie?"

"Maybe because I know how you fight. Maybe because the kids need to learn how to be a bit more welcoming of Downworlders. Maybe because it sucks watching one of my best friends wallow in self-pity because of the other one of my best friends," having children had not calmed down the way Jace spoke, and Magnus was grateful for it. After a slight sigh, Magnus said,

"What would me helping to train them entail?" Jace smiled.

"Show up at the Institute at 8AM tomorrow and you'll find out. " And so Magnus did.

Magnus would never admit it, but he loved training the Shadowhunters-to-be. The twins were as feisty as their mother, and as reckless as their father. The way the two learned to fight, it was if he was watching Jem and Will together again.

Magnus had none of the Shadowhunter grace or speed, and he never much cared for learning martial arts, so he taught them how to fight with magic instead of against it, the way Alec--it hurt to even think his name--did on their first date. Jace and Rory taught them the things that Magnus couldn't. And life was...nice. It was tolerable, at least. He was no longer completely alone.

The first few years, not the he knew it was years, Magnus went searching for boys--and the occasional girl--who had pale skin, dark hair and oh so beautiful blue eyes to seduce into his bed. it wasn't hard to do. Most of them were mundanes, though there were a few vampires--it seemed that watching Raphael die for him stuck in his head--and one werewolf.

Eventually Catarina stopped him. She said that fucking his way through everyone who looked like the Shadowhunter boy he loved wasn't going to help him get over Alec. Magnus knew she was right, even if he would never say so. He thought that it was Catarina's idea to have Magnus teach the young shadowhunters. She knew full well that interventions rarely worked when it came to Magnus.

Life was okay again once he started at the Institute. It didn't hurt all the time anymore. Only when he wasn't busy teaching children to kill, and how to not die. But it still hurt, and Alec wasn't there to make it better.

Then it dawned on him. He was at the Institute almost every day and he hadn't seen Alec once. It wasn't like Alec to not train, to not be the sexy as hell Shadowhunter that he was. Alec had just came into himself, it wasn't right that he was now nowhere to be found.

"So Blondie, where are the Lightwoods?" He asked Jace one day after training as he and Rory put away the weaponry of the day. Rory's head turned sharply to face Magnus, brown curls flying everywhere. Jace shook his head slightly.

"Izzy moved to Alicante to help oversee Simon's training after everything was said and done. Alec...Alec said he needed a break from this. He comes by every now and then, but he mostly stays away." Magnus felt his heart cry at that.

"I'm sorry you more or less lost your best friend because of me," he whispered, walking out of the weapons room. Grabbing a sharpie from a drawer, Jace ran to catch up with him. He took Magnus's arm and pushed up the sleeve before Magnus could register what was going on.

"This is where he's at now," Jace said scribbling something on his skin, "you might not like what you find, but you can go see for yourself that he is okay." Magnus stared confused at the black ink.

"Couldn't you have found a piece of paper?" He said rolling his eyes. Jace grinned.

"'Course not. " the two men laughed together. In moments like this, Magnus really was reminded of the first Will Herondale, and it put him at peace for a few moments.

The next day, Magnus texted Jace saying that he wouldn't make it to training, and took most of it getting ready. It had been forever since he cared enough to bother with makeup or glitter. But this was Alec, and he always cared enough to bother for Alec.

When he knocked on the door, it was a girl who opened it. She looked painfully shy and overwhelmingly curious and it seemed that the second won out. He was shocked that she was there, but thought perhaps Alec was babysitting. He did love kids, after all. The moment the word 'daddy' escaped her lips, Magnus knew that his heart was about to break all over again.

He stood there as Alec rambled on about his new life and his husband and part fairy kids, barely registering that the name Rory was spoken until the boy walked up to the house. He was happy that Alec was happy, but it hurt that that happiness was not because of him.

As he walked away, he wiped away tears and thought back to when he thought that Alexander Lightwood might not break his heart. At that, his tears came down faster as he realized exactly how wrong he was.