Where the Stars Fall

17 | Waiting for love

'FUCK LOVE,' I tell myself as I set the glass down with a decisive click.

Obsessive thinking. Separation anxiety. Bad surprises. Sleepless nights. Rebound hook-ups. Who the fuck needs this shit?

So, instead of risking getting blown to pieces again, maybe I should just enjoy life in a less complicated fashion. This evening, for example. Instead of sulking, I could have some fun with that cute brunette.

She's right here, in front of me, shaking her curvy bum, sending me all the buying signals. Besides, I have the feeling she's looking for a quick fix, so I wouldn't even have to sweat that much to pull this one away for a little one on one.

And that seems like a good plan to you?

No, it's a fucking terrible plan.

"Damn, she's hot," Jake says, fixing her over the rim of his glass. "Not to mention, there's 'shag me' written all over her face."

I give an uninterested shrug and take another sip, my mind torn between flashes of the woman who doesn't want anything to do with me and the fact I need to get her out my system.

"Hey, listen!" He puts one hand to his ear as if straining to hear some far-off sound.

"What?"

"Can't you hear it? Her pussy screaming? 'Fuck me! Fuck me hard!'" Jake punches me on the arm. "What are you waiting for? You're a goddamn wuss now? If you don't man the fuck up, I'll do her myself!" he adds, his eyes travelling up the length of the brunette's body, devouring her.

"Yeah, do that, you moron. Because you don't have enough problems already."

"I'm into deep shit, aren't I? What the fuck am I supposed to do now?" Jake drops his face into his hands.

"Okay, mate. Let's analyse this. You love her?"

"Who?"

"Your wife, you idiot."

"Of course."

"Right." I give him a cynical look.

Jake sags deeper into the chair.

"In that case, you know what you need to do."

His brow furrows, there's utter despair in his eyes. "But I can't leave Patricia."

"Think straight, mate. One thing is bonking, shaking the sheets. But then there's that other thing, love or whatever. You'd-give-up-your-left-kidney-if-she-needed kind of thing, you know? Come on, you can't possibly feel the same thing for both of them."

"I can't, because she'll blow the whistle. If I leave her, she'll tell Claire. And I'll lose everything..."

The beach house, the convertible – and Claire's father, whose prominent position in the world of high finance sure has brought him a lot of perks along the way.

"Yeah, it's a total bummer." I nod, with feigned sympathetic understanding. "But I suppose you have to man up and admit what happened. What else can you possibly do?"

"Either way I'm fucked, aren't I?" Jake lets out a heavy sigh, the realisation there's no way he'll get out of this in one piece dawning hard on him.

"You are. You're knee deep in shit and I can't be of any help to you on this. Sorry."

I stand and tap him on the shoulder, in a hopeless gesture. Then I head to the counter and sit on a stool while waiting for another two pints.

Avicii's 'Waiting for Love' invades the club and the screaming crowd begins to undulate enthusiastically. I find the dark-eyed brunette in the middle of the dance floor, which is now packed with writhing, gyrating bodies, moving in sync to the throbbing beat of the loud music. She's jumping and spinning with her eyes closed, both hands waving in the air, her hips swaying wildly, her braless breasts bouncing freely.