The Perfect Moment

Part Three

"Andrea, its fine," I heard a familiar voice say. "It's okay," she continued telling me, until I opened my eyes. I woke up in the same room I had blacked out in, only this time there were people around. I felt hands get off me, so I turned to lie on my side to hide my face a little. There were a lot of people there, actually, and I didn't like it. I grunted and looked up at some of them.

"Get out, everyone" A grown woman's voice said, and people started to move. Minutes later, she finally let me go. The nurse had come as Lisa asked to, when I fainted. I had to listen to Lisa explain the whole situation again, to make the nurse let me go. She was not sure if I was capable of that, but I assured her I was fine. She told me to go home, though.

That I did. Mum had to come and pick me up, actually, before the nurse would leave me be. She told mum everything, and gave me the note saying I got the rest of the day off. Mum dropped me off at home for me to do some chorus around the house, and to chill. I told her there was nothing wrong with me, I was just a bit sad, that was all, and she believed me. That blackout was just a bit extreme.

I turned on my music, to be greeted with the fact that my favourite playlist consisted of a lot of 5SOS. I didn't cry, though. This time I sat down and listened to it, like I would normally do. I decided I couldn't just drop my favourite band because my ex-boyfriend was in it. I loved their music no matter what, and I was going to keep listening to it.

Friday that week I felt ready to finally face the social media. I logged onto twitter on my laptop, and the first thing I saw, was Luke's recent tweets. He said he had a rough week, and he had sent me about fifty Direct Messages. I decided to speak up.

Where the fuck did this braveness come from? I had no idea, but I wanted to tell him indirectly to stop annoying my family. They were mad at me for not talking to him, so that they could stop getting all the calls.

'Face me, not my family, it pisses us all off' I tweeted, waiting to see if Luke was on. It actually started getting a bit funny. It seemed like he was sitting still and waiting for me to do something. He called me up minutes later, and I was questioning myself whether I should answer it or not. I Felt strong now, so I put my finger on the screen and slid it to the right. I then pressed the speaker button, so I could actually hear him.

"Thank God! Finally! Andrea, why have you ignored me like this?" he asked, almost annoyed.

"Oh, let me see" I sassily answered, "I didn't find it as funny as others to be completely heartbroken, and be even more hurt." He felt guilty, because he sighed, changing his attitude slightly.

"I'm really sorry for all of this, babe," he begun.

"Don't call me that," snapped.

"Sorry, Andrea. I just, I feel sorry for you, you know? I wish I didn't have to ruin things like this, but you should try and be in my position, and you would see it clearly," he explained. I didn't answer him at first. I didn't really have anything to say, but then I came up with a good comeback.

"No, I wouldn't need to, Luke. Because I was happy with you. I loved you, and I thought you loved me too, because that's what you told me all this time, you know? And then, you come here and tell me you've never been happy with me? That's just rubbish. I can't believe I still love you after all of this," I confessed to myself.

"You still love me?" he almost whispered.

"Yes, of course I do! I cried three times before even entering school today, and then, in the lunch break, I totally lost it, and I even fainted because of all the crying," I told him, but he didn't respond with anything. Not one sound was to be heard.

"You really broke me, Luke. I didn't think it would hurt this much, but it does, and I just have to deal with it. Do you know what would hurt more, though?" I asked him without waiting for an answer. "If someone like you came into my life again," I added, now wanting to hear something from him. He still didn't answer, so I took that as my queue to leave.

I sighed again. "Goodbye Luke. Have a good life," I told him before hanging up.

It was just something with me after school. It felt like I had no feelings at all, and it kind of felt good, to be honest. To actually be able to talk to Luke without crying to death.

"Aren't you eating anything?" was the question that every single person around me asked me. I was so sick of hearing it, I had almost started skipping lunch at school, and I was definitely not joining my family by the dinner table anymore. I just wasn't hungry. All that puking made me lose my appetite, and it didn't bother me much. I would just sleep anyway.

The pictures of me online kept going, though. Someone clearly had to know that I used to date Luke, because everyone posted pictures of me walking on the street, sometimes crying, sometimes smoking, but there was always a few lines about how skinny I was. I did not think so, though. I hated my body. The body Luke used to love was definitely not there anymore. Curves became visible, and my thigh gap was gone.

I had started running. It felt extremely good, except from the fat waggling from side to side as I ran. I used to have a few hour run, just to clear my head. It was five months since Luke broke up with me, and about two of them went on crying over it. I felt stupid for it; I was such a weak person for crying over a person for that long. It was not healthy, was all they told me. I should move on.

That, I did. I was becoming greater friends with pretty much my entire class after I had broken up with Luke. Now I had the capacity to see people on another perspective. They were all so funny and nice, and kind and I just loved them. All except Matt, of course. He kept trying to make me sleep with him, but I found that gross.

I had also decided that I'd never get involved with a boy romantically, ever again. It would just end up hurting me, so why even start?