The Perfect Moment

Part Twelve

"We're leaving tonight," he pushed out of his own mouth, making my jaw drop.

"I obviously forgot to tell you, but we're playing at the jingle ball and everything, so we have to stay in America this Christmas," he added, trying to come closer to me. I now realized I wasn't that smart when I told him it was fine for him to go out. He wasn't going to be here in Australia for more than five days, and on those days he had so many people to catch up with. I regretted saying it, but I also didn't. He needed to know. I just wished he'd have a bit more time at home.

"Oh" was all I could say, and I felt my tears appear in my eyes. I grabbed the pillow from my left side and hid my face in it. I didn't want to cry, so I tried to hide. It didn't help though. I cried no matter what.

"I'm so sorry baby, I wish I could do something about it, but these things are hard to change. They're scheduled to fit in perfectly," he explained, and in one quick move, he was next to me, holding me close.

"I just wish you'd tell me a bit sooner" I sniffled.

"Yeah, I know. I'm sorry. I just wish I could realize everything. I'm not used to being with you, you know. I'm not used to being around someone that loves me like this, that don't have the same schedule as me. I'm used to being with the boys, and we have the same stuff to do all the time," he explained.

"You know what? These hours that I've spent with you and April have been so good. You do something inside of me that no one else can do, and it helps me so much. You're my best friend, and the love of my life. I promise you I'll do everything I can to visit you as often as possible, and be a good dad to April. That's all I want right now. And I need you to tell me if something is wrong, or if you need anything or whatever. I'm sure my parent's can help out. I'm willing to do everything I can so that my two princesses are doing okay," he told me.

I hugged him tightly, and told him I loved him more than anything on earth, equally as much as our daughter, and I wish we had more time together, but at the same time I loved what he did for a living, and if I could, I would be in that position myself. I knew he loved it, no matter what him or anyone said to deny it. I could see it in him every time he talked about it. He really loved his job. 

Months went by and April grew. She was seven months now, and she had begun crawling around and communicating more. Her teeth were visible, and her new favourite game was to bounce, standing on my knees. She loved that so much, and smiled widely when I did. She also loved bathing in the tub at night.

She was a nightmare at night, though, She had been for the past six months or so, when she realized Luke wouldn't be there for a while. I sometimes had to call Luke to get him to clam her down with his voice. She was always crying, and I was exhausted all day. Mum had gone back to work full time, so I had to deal with her on my own all day.

Luke said he couldn't come home at all this winter at all, and wouldn't make it home before April was almost a year old. I said i didn't get why, and he kept explaining the stuff he had to do. They were touring all the time, playing so many shows I had lost count of them. It wasn't until the very end of September they were coming to Australia, and on the fourth of October, he was finally home in Sydney. He told me they were hopefully having a break until January 2017, but that he didn't know for sure.

Every conversation we had ended up fighting about this.I hated myself for constantly bringing up that I missed him, and then we'd start discussing that he should come home before October. Then he'd tell me that he really wanted to, and needed to, but that he couldn't make it no matter how hard he tried, and then I'd tell him he could make it if he tried hard enough. Then I was mad at him, and he was mad at me.

"Hi Luke, sorry about last night," I said when I heard him answer the call.

"Oh, it's fine, don't worry about it," he replied straight away. "I've forgotten about it already," he assured me.

"Good," I finished, and waited a little before I started the next conversation.

"How was Brisbane?" I asked.

"Oh, Brisbane is great. Such a loud crowd" he giggled. "I love Brisbane" he finished.

"I'm so excited that you're coming home," I said. "After the concert tomorrow, you're coming over, right?" I asked to assure myself. "Yeah, I mean, if you still want me to. It will be pretty late" he asked again, for like the twentieth time this week.

"I don't care, I just need to see you again," I said. Their last show of the tour was in Sydney the next day, and without Luke knowing any of it, April and I were going to the concert to see daddy do his job. I had bought April some soundproof ear protection, so that she didn't blow her ears off. I was legit so excited to see Luke's reaction.

"What do you think we should give her for her birthday? It's only a month away" I reminded him.

"Yeah, I know. How crazy is that? She's already eleven months. I can't believe my daughter will be one year old, and I've only seen her for three days" he said, and sniffled. He was now crying.

"Aw, Luke! She's so excited to see you. Every time I mention daddy, she smiles and laughs, and claps her hands. She's so excited, maybe even more than I am, so she clearly remembers something," I assured him.