they say the best things happen when you're least expecting them
like a package from an old friend
or baked cookies when you get home from a long day
i tend to agree with that statement
the best things happen when you're sitting in math class and the boy you've been friends with for years nudges you
he tells you a joke and you laugh
but so do all the other girls who are interested in him
so you keep quiet.
you've known him too long to get involved.
"you know better!" your old best friend's voice rings in your ear.
you do know better, but you do it anyway.
his hands fold over yours in his basement and you still know better.
he tells you he loves you and you still know better.
he kisses someone else and you still know better.
it's a spinning merry-go-round and you will never, ever get off.
your reputation says everything about you, and it's telling you to stay.
it's expected of you to stay.
knowing better doesn't matter when he is so cunning.
manipulation is an interesting game -
it is always accompanied by love.
love shouldn't follow that path, but it does, and you ache.
you never loved the boy, but your mind played tricks on you.
when you sat in your bathtub with the water running
fully clothed
the hotline dialed
and the manipulation shining bright on your phone at midnight
that's when knowing better finally surfaced.
