sign of the times

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it's been years since i've written.

i used to write until my hands ached at 3 in the morning.

poems, short stories, novels.

my outlet for my feelings was writing everything out and reading it back.

usually, to music

reminding myself over and over again of the hurt that i felt.

i have felt a lot of hurt since i was 15 years old and wrote my last poem. 

the boy with the braces, age 15

the boy with tactful manipulation skills, age 16

the boy who i've loved since middle school, age 17

and the boy with the motorbike, age 18

all of them have taken pieces of me i will never get back

all of them have given me things that i would have not received otherwise

all of them have taught me lessons for the future

i am almost 19 years old and going to college in the fall

the boy with the braces taught me to have respect for myself

the boy with the manipulation skills taught me to know better

the boy who i've loved since middle school taught me to not let something good go

and the boy with the motorbike taught me not to fall for the first boy who smiles at you during a hard time

all of them taught me that i don't need anybody to make me happy 

i'm going through a tough time

but all i need is an instance of courage and confidence and the ability to recognize what i deserve

truly, all i need

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⏰ Last updated: Jul 10, 2018 ⏰

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