Identity [ON HIATUS]

16. The Locked Door

We sat in a coffee shop, one that had dark, wood panel walls and canvas prints of weird abstract art that Daisy didn't understand. My usual spots for drinks and reading had pictures of strangers enjoying coffee and each other's company, but here was different, here seemed more personal. There were potted plants, real plants, and each table and each chair was a different colour or different art piece; so much donated art, so much character.

I adored it.

"So, you googled it." Charlie took a sip of his steaming hot black coffee, not even flinching from the heat that even I could feel from it. "And was that enough? Did that give you all the answers? I've been told that you shouldn't go on Web MD when you have a cold, because it'll tell you have a disease and that you'll die next week."

"It wasn't enough, but it's a start. I just wanted a name for it." I sighed, staring at my own milky cup of coffee, at a cyclist who'd just parked and locked his bike outside of the window they sat beside. I looked at Charlie, who rubbed his eye and looked out at the mid morning sun, clear for such an breezy, cold day. Charlie constantly had the look of 'just woken up', his hair mussed, his clothes crumpled, his expression sleepy. I wondered what drugs he took, I wondered how often he drank, and whether he'd been drinking last night. 

"Have you told your parents?"

"No." I caught my reflection in my phone screen face up. Rose's makeup was almost gone, thanks to the hasty wash I'd had at Charlie's, but it was still there, faded an raw around my eyes and on my lips. "They have enough to deal with right now."

Charlie laughed a humourless laugh. "You can't think like that, Daisy." Unconsciously, he reached his hand across the table, his fingers drumming a silent tune on the surface. "They care, right? They care about you."

"They only ever cared about me." I said harshly, aggressively suddenly. They weren't my words. I clamped her mouth shut, my eyes watering. I found myself gripping onto Charlie's large hand for support. "I'm afraid of her, Charlie." I said, my voice quiet like the squeaking of a mouse. "My sister wasn't like that, I wasn't scared of her, but this one, she's different."

Charlie nodded, as if he understood, as if he had the problem himself. He didn't, he wouldn't understand, and my mind wanted to burst.

"I can feel her sometimes," I continued. "Knocking on a door up there, and if I open it, she'll take over. But sometimes, she can open it herself...like I forgot to lock it or something..."

"That was fairly poetic."

"Are you calling my suffering poetic?"

"No, I mean I-" Charlie squinted and shook his head at his blunder, before letting go of my hand and standing. The locked door banged and banged feverishly.

"Where are you going?"

"You can't smoke inside."

Soooo, I'm back! Nanowrimo nearly killed me but I managed to reach 50,000 words two days early which is a record for me. I want to thank everyone for being so patient, and now I can finally return to Daisy and Rose and Charlie with 100% attention. If you liked this chapter, don't forget to vote and comment, all are appreciated <3