cleanse

20

I scramble to sit up. My mind is racing just as fast as my heart. I look around me frantically for Mahree, but she isn't here. It takes a few seconds for me to register that it was only a dream. I never did find Mahree, I never got to feel her lips against mine, and I never told her I loved her. I feel the tears urging to break the surface, but I won't show anymore weakness. 

Rain sits inn the corner, near Night's cave. She looks over at me and smiles at me sympathetically. "Another nightmare?" She asks quietly. I shake my head. "It was too good of a dream to be true..." I whisper, but I know she hears it. She doesn't respond, she only looks me in the eyes with a sorrowful glance. Just from the way she looks at me I can tell that she's gone through the same thing.

"Will you come look for her with me?" I beg, the tears slurring my words slightly. "I want to know that she's really gone." Rain gives a small nod and rises from her cross-legged position on the ground. "Star," she whispers in his ear. "We're going hunting. I gave her the spear and I'm taking Nyx's arrows and bow." Star nods in compliance and waves us on. "Stay safe." He mumbles.

I tip-toe as quietly as possible through the dead leaves. Rain stays quiet the entire trek and the only sound she makes is when a stick snaps under her heavy boot. As we get closer to the area where I left Mahree, I get more and more anxious. Not only that, but the tension grows between Rain and I as well. 

Out of the corner of my eye, I see a hint of white and purple. I break into a sprint, while Rain remains walking. Just like in my dream, Mahree is nowhere to be found. There isn't a single trace of where she is. The only thing of her left is the stash of power berries I had given her the night before she was killed. The sob breaks free from my mouth and I fall to the ground, trembling helplessly. Rain runs up to me and wraps me in her arms. "She's gone!" I whimper. "It might've actually been better if she was dead because I would know that she's with her family! But who knows where she is!"

Rain doesn't say anything because she knows that it won't do anything. She's exactly correct in assuming that. Just as I close my eyes, I hear a gasp coming from the pond. I know it's Mahree but I don't want to believe that she's still here, in danger. "Violet?" She asks, shock runs through her voice. I open my eyes and see her standing there, her mouth gaping and her eyes as wide as an abyss. 

I unwrap myself from Rain and she reluctantly lets go of me. "I thought... you were killed... I thought you died." I cry. "YOU LET ME BELIEVE YOU WERE DEAD!" I grab Mahree's shoulder and yank her into a kiss. I feel her cheeks warm up and her hands do too. She pulls away slowly, still lingering in the moment. "I'm sorry..." she whispers. "I went into a coma for a day or two, and I only woke up last night." 

I nod my head as we give each other a hug. "I was picking some power berries last night after I woke up to get my body working again and I came real close to your campsite. I saw you tossing and turning on the ground. I wanted to scoop you up and hold you like I did on the train. It hurt me so much to see you that way." She explains, her voice cutting out in some parts. "Then why didn't you?" I ask in a hushed voice.

It takes Mahree a minute to answer. Once she gathers her response, she begins to cry. "Because of Nyx." she replies with a tear running down her cheek. "I couldn't let them see me alive or she would've killed me. I'm sorry I didn't come back for you but I couldn't risk it." I agree with Mahree that if she did come onto the campsite, Night would have killed her on sight. 

"Rain," I begin. "Because Mahree can't come back with us, I'm going with her." I feel bad that I'm leaving Rain after all the help she's been to me, but I can't leave Mahree. "She needs you." Rain says, emotionless and without a detectable mood. Then, she disappears into the foliage. I turn back to Mahree and smile as I pull her into another quick hug.

Once our bodies unfurl, I grab her hand and lace my fingers between hers. We begin walking, but it's difficult for Mahree due to her wounds. "Have you eaten any of the berries?" I ask her. She shakes her head and pulls a few from her pocket.

"I learned that they're most effective if you take a rinse in some water after you've eaten them." I remark. "Let me help." I insist as I take her outer coat off her sweaty body. I take off her clothes until she's only left in her underwear and bra. I do the same to myself. We walk into the stream that breaks off from the pond. She pops the berries in her mouth just before I lay her down on my lap.

The water calmly washes over her, cleansing her in a better way than the government would. If I've learned anything since we ran away, it's that the only thing that a person needs cleansed is the mind and soul. I've learned a lot about spiritual rejuvenation and cleansing from Rain. She was supposed to be Cleansed last year, but she did the same as Mahree and I and ran away. She was a yoga instructor and hippie at the time, so she knew lots about healthy cleansing.

"I never got to ask you what your score was." I murmur. "On your exam." Mahree stays looking up at the pastel sky. "Ninety-nine." She replies solemnly. "You?" I don't answer immediately. I stay quiet for a moment, trying to register why everyone that I know of that's failed has received a ninety-nine on the Exam. "Ninety-nine." I say weakly, my voice near inaudible. 

Mahree gets on one elbow and looks me in the eyes before she kisses me with affection and hunger. "I had to..." she announces ever so quietly. "I needed to kiss you like that... I couldn't wait anymore." I don't want to say anything to Mahree. I only want to feel what I had just felt.That kiss was so much different than all of our others. It didn't have what all the others did; a purpose. I didn't want to have a reason to kiss her. So I do it again. I let her hands run down my spine freely while mine stays on her shoulder. It felt so warm and carefree and I wanted to live in it forever.