cleanse

24

Magdalena looks at me with unknown hate and fear. Her eyes are like tiny daggers, digging their jagged edges into my mind. Sawing back and forth until I can't feel anything anymore. She adjusts herself in her chair, and that's when I see her neck. Bruises in the abstract shape of a hand decorate her throat and collarbone. I cover my hand with my mouth to suppress my screams. Someone tried to strangle my sister. It couldn't have been father because he's been missing since the day I took my Exam.

"I don't know who the hell you think you are to me," Magdalena growls. "But you will stay away from me! I don't know you, okay?! I don't know anything or anyone! Just get away from me!" Tears spring from her grey, colorless eyes. The hint of blue that outlined the iris has faded into the grey nothingness. Her face is soaked in seconds from the tsunami of tears. For a second I thought I heard her sobbing, but I soon realize Magdalena isn't the one making the sound. It's Mahree.

I pat Magdalena's knee before rushing into the room where the sobbing came from. I push open the heavy metal door to see Mahree in a hospital bed with tubes coming out of countless areas on her body. Her face has sunken just like Magdalena's and I can see a resemblance that was always hidden, but showed at certain times. They both had once soft, rounded cheeks, and glowing eyes that reminded me of sunlight on a stream.

When I was little, my mother read me a poem that has stuck with me since the day she read it. It was called "Echo" and it was written over three hundred years ago. My favorite line happened to be "Come to me with soft, rounded cheeks, and eyes as bright as sunlight on a stream." It reminded me of my baby sister, and when she was sad, I would read the poem to her.

Looking at Mahree, in pain and suffering, made my limbs go numb. The only thing I felt was the nauseating churning of my stomach and the slow beating of my heart. "You remember me, right?" I ask, my voice cracking. Mahree squints her eyes slightly and slowly shakes her head. Her hand comes up from under the sheets and she signs something to me. I remember seeing a deaf girl once at school. Mahree is doing sign language and I'm stuck on why.

She notices I don't understand so she mouths it as she signs for the second time. "No. I'm sorry." Her lips move and a frown creeps onto her face. I don't even know what to feel at this point. Every single person I've ever loved, cared for, and admired has been taken from me. I thought there would be something to come back to once I came back home. But instead I came home to doctors and finding out everyone I know is gone. It makes me feel like my life has no purpose.

I wipe the tears from my eyes with my sleeve and mumble senselessness. I notice her facial expression change from confusion to sympathy and sadness. When I finally clear my vision, I notice the same bruises on her neck. That's when a realization enters my mind; Mahree's voice is gone because they strangled her.  

"I-I-I'm sorry..." I stammer. "I just... I have to go..." I grab a tissue from the dresser and blow my nose as I walk out of Mahree's room, knowing I'll never see her again.

I search for an elevator to the roof by going down the halls. I spot one, but a nurse is near. I wait until she passes to sneak into the elevator. I press the glowing R button and feel the elevator lift me to the roof. "I have to do this..." I whisper to myself over and over again until I'm convinced that I'm doing the right thing. 

I step up to the edge of the building and peer down at the ground below. I'm not very high up, but it's good enough. I brace myself and let my body relax. I move my shoulders up and down and stretch my arms for the last time. Then, before I do anything else, I look up to the sky and I say a quick message to my mom. 

"Mother, if I don't make it to Heaven I want you to know I love you. 

I miss you everyday and I escaped for you. I couldn't have anyone else go through what we did.

Magdalena might not remember you or me, but I know that there's still a spark of love for you inside of her.

I hope I wake up to find you so that I can tell you what I never could before you were Cleansed.

I love you mom and I'm sorry I failed. I hope I didn't let you down.

All the love and thanks,

Violet."

I wipe the last of my tears off my swollen cheeks and take my last breath of air before I fall.