cleanse

23

I rock back and forth in the corner of my hospital room, my mind buzzing with random thoughts. Nothing makes sense to me and everything is a blur. I peer outside my window again and Magdalena is back. She left for a couple hours, only to come back and do the same thing she was doing earlier; nothing. She just stares at her shoes like she can't do anything except that.

It makes my blood boil seeing a girl who used to be so full of life, seem so lost and empty. She's even more of a mess than after they took mom away from us. She doesn't even remember that happening. Every memory we ever shared of her is gone and it will never be replaced. The government has taken everyone I love, and who knows what they've done to Mahree. They probably did the same thing they did to my sister, considering how many people she's lost to the Examination and Cleansing.

After thinking about it hard enough to make my brain explode, I stand up. I'm a little shaky at first, but I take baby steps toward the door. I wobble out into the hallway, just steps away from the chair that Magdalena is sitting in. "Tiny Bird?" I ask. My voice cracks and I feel tears well up in my eyes. I start to shake again and its unstoppable this time. "It's me, Violet. I know you won't remember me because of what they've done to you, but I'm your older sister." When I mention the last part, she lifts her head slightly and smiles, but it's not the right kind of smile.

"And what exactly did they do to me?" She asks. Her voice is quiet and she doesn't sound sure of anything that comes out of her mouth. She looks up a bit more and I see scars decorate her face. The ones that father left behind. But her eyes are sunken in and her lips look as dry as the Sahara Desert. She's just a kid, but she looks so much older now that the bags under her eyes have defined. She looks like she's lost twenty pounds because her frame is so much smaller than it ever was. Her arms and legs have turned into sticks with no muscle left on them. Her face looks exactly like the skull decorations people put out on Halloween, and her jaw just out more than it ever has.

But the most devastating change about her is that her eyes haven't changed color once. They've been a sleepy grey and light blue ever since I left her in that hospital room before I took my Exam. That's what they have done to her. They've taken everything out of her and even though they've promised to restore it and replenish it, they didn't, and they never will. They're going to make her miserable just to make me miserable.

"What happened to you, Magdalena?" I demand, my lip quivering and my heart beating out of my chest. "What happened after I left you in that room so I could take my Exam?" She doesn't know, but part of me just wants something to come out of her mouth no matter what it is. 

"Why do you want to know?" she whispers, her voice wavering. It cracks with each syllable. "I don't even know who you are so why the hell should I tell you anything?! It's not like I know anything either!" Her voice raises to a shout that racks me with fear. I'm afraid of my own eleven year old sister. But this isn't my eleven year old sister. This is a monster put in front of me to make my life a living hell.