I am not who I seem to be.
I am not who you want me to be.
There is a hurricane in my mind.
There are dead flowers in my heart.
There is a flood in my eyes.
There are choking sounds coming from my mouth.
There is blood in my lungs.
I am not a beautiful girl.
I look as though the epitome of psychosis.
I am not someone who can give you more than what I emotionally have left.
I am nothing special.
And I'm sorry that I can't be more.
I am not poetically broken.
I am not beautifully broken.
I am a girl who is begging to die.
I am begging for death to come because I cannot breathe anymore.
My lungs burn and I'm so fucking tired of this entire thing.
I am so tired of being left alone.
I am so fucking tired of broken promises.
I hurt so fucking much and I will not stand for someone else to romanticize my thoughts of death and pain so they can try and get me in bed.
I'm a hypocrite.
I romanticize my pain so I can feel as though I'm sane.
I'm hurting.
I spend nights crying in the corner of my room because my world is spinning faster and faster and it's making me sick.
When I look in the mirror I see a little girl that is so scared and so lost.
She looks as though psychosis has taken over her.
Her eyes don't shine like they did when she was 5 years old.
And no, her eyes were never "good blow job eyes".
Her eyes used to bring light into the world but now they're dark and will suck up any light because they are black holes.
She is not a beautiful girl because she has been beaten by everything that troubles her.
Her smile is heartbreaking because it isn't real.
She is not the girl you see walking down the street.
You will not recognize her in the mirror.
She is not the girl you expected.
And she is so fucking sorry.
