random yaoi

Reflection

Title: Reflections
Author:merald_embers
Disclaimer: This is a non-profit work of fanfiction
Rating: NC17 for mild violence, bad language, and slash
Wordcount: 7477
Pairing: Dean/Castiel, references to Dean/Anna and one-sided Anna/Castiel
Summary: In which Dean's definition of 'normal' continues to be damaged, and Castiel doesn't quite grasp the concept of good books and bad books.

It's the first time they've seen each other in a fortnight.

Castiel doesn't particularly flinch when Dean decks him after being given his latest mission, or at least attempts to; even goes to turn the other cheek when Dean readies another punch.

Dean's sick to his stomach with it. With angels, demons, God and Lilith and Lucifer; sick, tired, and he just wants to be able to say "There, that's enough" and quit. Quit while he still has Sam, before he's another lone hunter with no family and a death wish.

Or rather, another lone hunter with no family. Claiming he doesn't have a death wish now would be a lie - the only reason he's been avoiding it because no one will damn well tell him where he's going if he dies again. He doesn't feel like he deserves to go to Heaven and he'll do whatever he can to avoid going back to Hell.

Well, close to whatever he can. He's still not giving up Sam, not for anything. He went through forty years of Hell for Sam and he doesn't want to do it again, not ever, but he'd sell his soul all over again to protect Sam and that hasn't changed.

And the angels don't care, not really. Not about Sam and Dean; just about what they could become, what they could do. For all Castiel's proving there is a God, he's taken away anything Dean might have thought to call hope or peace.

"We had to," Castiel says, and Dean can't help noticing that Castiel uses 'I' when he's being decent and 'we' when he's being a righteousdick. "Anna was a danger to herself and others. All those who fall are."

"Yeah, like every human out there," Dean snapped, "But hey, your boss doesn't mind ganking us. And what about Sam, while we're at it? What about him being dangerous?"

"Lilith need only break sixty six seals to set Lucifer free. Our concern is that Sam's abilities may make him a gateway to opening -"

"You don't kill gateways!" Dean yelled, cutting Castiel off, thankful for once in his life that Sam wasn't there to hear the argument even if the poor bastard in the room adjacent had to hammer on the wall for a bit of peace and quiet. "What next, huh? We - we go on staking out angels and witches, and then what, you off Sam once he stops being useful?"

"We are doing only what we're told to do," Castiel replies, eyes stern but somehow searching, "And I am doing my best to protect Sam from those who would go beyond the call of duty."

"Like your Uriel?"

"He is not mine," Castiel says, not quite defensive in tone but strangely reticent; Dean's still too angry to consider what that ought to mean.

"You knocked out my brother to try and kill a chick who didn't even know why -"

"Dean -"

"And when you come back to kill her again turns out the reason why is 'cause she'd decided she wanted to feel? Forgive me if I'm still pissed at that - or don't you guys go for that forgiving shtick anymore?"

"Dean, I did not intend -"

"Get out!"

Castiel frowns before obeying, and the next door neighbour's knocking for silence is the only damn reminder Dean has that he's not alone.

Their next meeting is a little less heated, though Sam had a few choice words to offer before realising Castiel had come to offer help with finishing up their latest mission rather than simply handing out further orders. That eased matters - that and the fact the angel accompanying him wasn't Uriel. The encounter was blessedly brief, Castiel's latest companion quiet as he took the flasks Dean and Sam had recovered and holding them up to his nose, breathing an incantation over each after inhaling. "They have been purified," He announced before pocketing the tainted glass and walking off, the use of a blind stick making Dean really uncomfortable until Castiel explained that Samael had no sight in Heaven either; he was and always had been blind, had selected an appropriate human vessel on account.