random yaoi

(let's meet in) The purgatory of my hips

Title: (let's meet in) the purgatory of my hips
Author: omeblazingstar
Disclaimer: Kripke's, not mine, etc.
Rating: NC-17
Pairing: Dean/Castiel
Wordcount: 5520
Warnings: Spoilers through 4.10.
Notes: Title from "w.a.m.s." by Fall Out Boy. Damnit, bandom, look what you made me do!
Summary: Dean saves Castiel from falling. With sex.

Castiel is waiting, sitting on the edge of Dean's bed, when they get back to their room to regroup after lunch. "Hello, Dean. I need to talk to you," he says.

"Hey, you know what?" Sam says, backing out of the room. "I'm going to go...uh. Be somewhere else. Actually, Dean, don't worry about that research - I think I'm going to go hit the library, get it done now," and poof, he's gone. Dean almost expects to see a puff of smoke as he shuts the door behind him.

"He was eager to leave my presence," Castiel remarks.

"You really are thick sometimes, huh?" Dean says, shrugging the duffle bag off his shoulder and dropping it on the floor before sitting in the chair across from the bed.

"I'm sorry?"

"You have to understand, Sam actually believes in all your God stuff. Has for a long time, apparently. He prays, and trust me when I say it was a shock for me to find that out. So to have you guys show up, treating him like dirt and generally acting like dicks, it doesn't occur to you that that might be a disappointment? Might mess him up a little?"

Castiel blinks. "I see."

"No, you don't, but whatever." Dean sighs. "What's this about?"

Castiel stares into space for a long time, brow furrowed, until Dean's about ready to smack him for keeping him in suspense. "It's a personal matter, I suppose," he finally says, and Dean lets out a breath.

"No broken seals?"

"Not at the moment," Castiel says.

"Then what? You didn't just show up in my room for no reason."

Castiel closes his eyes. "My brothers seem to be under the impression that I'm in danger of falling."

Dean stares. "Run that by me again?"

"My brothers..."

"Okay, never mind. Um, why?"

Castiel looks at him. Really looks at him, in that way he has, where Dean feels like he can't hide anything, like every nasty little part of himself is exposed to his gaze. It's not a feeling he's particularly fond of. "Because of you," he says.

Dean gets up out of his chair and just stares. "Me? What did I do?"

"It's complicated."

"Oh, is it? Well, I think Sam's going to be gone for a while, so you should have plenty of time to enlighten me."

Castiel actually looks like he's at a loss for words, for a moment, which is just weird. He gets up, too, pacing on the other side of the room, and Dean starts to feel...a little bad for him, actually. He's sure that the whole angelic not-having-feelings deal must be great most of the time - no matter what Anna said, there are times, pretty frequent times, when having feelings really, really sucks - but it's so clear that Castiel is struggling with something, something huge, that Dean has to wonder how well-equipped the guy must be, for...whatever it is.

"Seriously, what's wrong? You're freaking me out a little," he says.

"I shouldn't have come here," Castiel says, and makes like he's heading for the door, which isalso pretty freaky, since Dean knows perfectly well that he could just piss off into thin air like he usually does whenever Dean tries to force a real answer out of him.