"You can just sit here on the couch," Ashley said. "I'll go get us something to drink."
I nodded my head with a smile. "Okay." I sat back and let my thoughts rush through my head. I hated how once I was happy with something, my mind always found a way to ruin it. I heard a voice in my head telling me, "You don't deserve Ashley. He just feels sorry for you. You'll never be good enough." I felt tears running down my face, and I quickly wiped them away when I saw Ashley walk back into the room.
"Here you are, beautiful," he said, handing me a glass of wine.
"Uhm, thank you, Ashley." I sat the glass down. "Can I use your bathroom?"
Ashley nodded and said, "It's down the hall to the right."
"Thank you," I said to him and then grabbed my purse and made my way to the bathroom.
I walked in and quickly shut the door and locked it. I sat my purse down on the counter, and I stared into the mirror. All I could see was a worthless girl, who didn't deserve happiness. Without thinking, I grabbed my purse and searched through the bag. I finally found what I was looking for. My blade. I kept it with me at all times as a reminder of the past, but I never thought of using it again. Until now. I closed the lid on the toilet, and I slid my jeans down just enough so that I could see my thighs. Laced with faded scars, I hadn't cut since senior year. I knew I was slowly ruining my life and I had to make it better. Now that Ashley's here, he says he can make the pain go away. But now, I feel like I don't deserve his kindness. With those thoughts, I held my blade in my hand, hovering it over my skin. My eyes were fighting back tears. Did I really need to do this?
That voice in my head yelled at me again. "Come on, do it already! You're already so weak and worthless. You don't deserve one ounce of Ashley's kindness."
I nearly screamed, slicing the skin on both of my thighs to make those thoughts shut up. I was in tears, and I hadn't realized I had been in here so long until I heard a knock on the door. "Adriana, are you okay?" Ashley's voice sounded worried.
I quickly put the blade back in my purse and responded, "Uh.. Yeah, I'll be out in a sec."
I heard his footsteps as he walked back into the living room. I haphazardly cleaned up the blood on my thighs and pulled my jeans back up. I seethed, grinding my teeth together to silence my scream; it stung like crazy, but I had to deal with it. Ashley couldn't know. It would break his heart. I dried my eyes and then flushed the toilet so Ashley wouldn't suspect anything. I then walked slowly into the living room and sat next to him.
Ashley's POV
"Hey you," I said to Adriana as she sat down next to me.
"Hey," she said back, giving a light smile.
I wrapped my arm around her, staring at her. She was so beautiful; I couldn't get over it. "I love your smile," I told her with a grin; she blushed in response. It was quiet for a few seconds, so I decided to break the awkward silence, and I leaned in and kissed her. I could feel her smile against my lips as she kissed me back. I pulled her over into my lap and continued to kiss her. After minutes of this, I started to slide my hand up her thigh and I felt something wet. Wet? I broke the kiss and looked down. Adriana's thighs had spots of blood soaking through. 'Oh no,' I thought to myself. "Adriana? Honey, what happened?" I asked. I could already see the look of fear, sadness and pain in her eyes.
