Waltz Of The Persistent Plot Bunnies

One Hell Of A Mud Boy

"I don't know how you did it, Mud Boy."

"I know I've said this before, but Artemis, you're a genius."

"How the hell did you do it? I couldn't even clone a unicorn with a lab full of equipment, much less the stuff inside a few broken desktop computers."

Artemis smiled smugly. Once again, he had done something impossible. "I wonder what Álainn will think."

"Is it male or female?" Holly asked.

Artemis looked at her. "Female, of course. Álainn is only four months old, but I am not stupid. Although the clone will not live long, considering it is only a corpse with a beating heart."

"What's her name?" Foaly asked.

"She hasn't chosen one yet."

Holly and Foaly dropped their jaws simultaneously. Butler was not surprised in the least. Sixteen years bodyguarding a child prodigy can do that to you.

"How -how-how can she choose?" Foaly sputtered. "She's-she's a clone! A 'corpse with a beating heart', in your own words!"

Artemis grinned. So he had finally gotten past fairy technology. "Simple, really. AI."

"Artificial intelligence." Foaly muttered. "But she's a clone. AI only works on robots, right?"

"Wrong. The cloned unicorn can process speech, respond in the language she was spoken to, and make decisions for herself. The telepathy bit was harder, and required a few materials not found in a few broken desktops. Therefore, she responds out loud."

"But, Artemis, how the hell did you make the machine in the first place?" Holly asked.

"That, my friend, I could not tell you if I wanted to. I was in my meditating state when I built it, and when I was done, I collected a few of Álainn's tail hairs, put them in the machine, and it worked. It was a simple matter to add the AI to the intelligence level of an average unicorn, and voilà. A cloned unicorn who can think and act for herself."

"That is D'Arvitting amazing." After Foaly said this, Artemis chuckled.

"So, I have managed to do something found as amazing in the eyes of the People's most brilliant centaur. Foaly, I think this proves it."

"Proves what?" Foaly asked, genuinely confused.

"I'm smarter than you."

Foaly whinnied in protest, but the teenage genius had voiced a command to his unicorn clone and motioned for the others to follow him. "Come. Let's show Álainn how intelligent her caretaker really is."

Holly breathed in the fresh air of the early afternoon. There wasn't a cloud in the sky, yet the temperature was not too hot. It was a perfect day for cloning unicorns.

"Álainn!" Artemis called. "I want to show you something."

The unicorn filly trotted out of the forest and whinnied as she spotted her caretaker. Artemis, how are you? The foal stopped in her tracks as she spotted the clone, who walked toward her slowly as if contemplating whether or not this new unicorn was friendly.

Amazing. Álainn mused. It's like she's thinking. How did you do it?

"So you can tell she's a clone." Artemis responded.

Álainn looked at him, visibly insulted. Of course I can tell she's a clone. She looks exactly like me and, although she looks intelligent, she does not quite have the posture and grace of a real unicorn. I'm young, not stupid.

Artemis nodded. "Of course."

Can she hear me?

"Unfortunately, no, as I did not have the materials to enable her to send or receive telepathy, so if you wish to speak to her, you must write. She will not live long though. Clones never do."

Álainn nodded. I'll make her short life worth living. What's her name?

"She hasn't chosen yet. Why don't you go help her choose? Introduce yourself and get to know her. She has about a year before she dies. You too." He said, motioning to the clone. The two fillies trotted off towards the lake, which was sparkling in the sunlight. Álainn turned to look at him.

Artemis, you are one hell of a Mud Boy.