her;muke

0.1

Definition of transgender:

denoting or relating to a person whose self-identity does not conform unambiguously to conventional notions of male or female gender 

My name is Michael Clifford.

When I was five years old, my parents, Daryl and Karen got a divorce. After a battle over who should have custody over me, I moved from Los Angeles to Auckland, New Zealand with my Mother.

Why New Zealand? I ask myself that a lot. It is one hell of a downgrade. While Auckland is just as busy, it cannot even compare to how amazing America is. But my Mother always liked how peaceful and welcoming New Zealand seemed to be and wanted to spend the rest of her life here.

I was not long after the move, enrolled in a Primary School where I could be my loud, cheeky child self. And this was where I met someone who shaped my shitty life to the way it is today.

Luke Hemmings.

Being friends with him when I was younger must have been a shock to some people. Luke was a quiet kid who sat alone during class and lunch. He preferred it this was as he didn't like playing with all the other boys. He had light blonde hair which he constantly had to brush out of his eyes as his fringe was so long he could barely see .

I have very few memories of my childhood, and Luke was in most of them. According to my Mum, on my first day school, I accidentally spilt paint on Luke's book and made him cry. Then because I felt so bad, I shoved paint in my face to make him feel better. And then he laughed so hard he accidentally wet himself. And that was how a beautiful friendship was started.

I always knew something was different about him.

Luke loved all things that a boy my age would classify as a 'girls thing'. Pink, barbies, make up - the lot. Only I knew this though, of course.

I first found out about this when I visited his house. When I went into his room, my first assumption was we were in his sister's room. But we weren't. There were girls toys, make up, dresses all around the room.

"Why is it so, girly?" I asked him,

"Why can't it be? I like this kind of stuff." Luke defended.

For a five year old, I think I couldn't have taken it better. We played dolls until my Mum came to pick me up. Luke and I waited in his living room before I left, as my Mum and his parents had an 'adult conversation'.

During the car ride home, Mum talked to me about how Luke was not like other boys, that he was a boy, but a boy who wanted to be a girl.

This information confused me. Which at that age is understandable. I didn't understand how a boy could think he was a girl, but as I liked Luke and he was my friend, I decided that I didn't care about whether he wanted to be a boy or a girl.

Now, at twenty years old, I can assure you my Mum has reminded me of how proud she was that I wasn't weirded out by the fact Luke didn't do boy stuff and that he wanted to do girl stuff instead at least a million times. Maybe two. Just comes to show how five year olds don't have as much judgement in them as people of older ages.

Over the years, Luke became more comfortable acting girly around me. I had to accept that I could only play trains and football with my other guy friends as Luke became uncomfortable if boy stuff like that was brought up as it reminded him of who he used to be.

The first time he wore a dress around me, I was six. It took him a whole year before one day, he came over to my house in a red dress with a white flower clipped into his hair. I told him that he looked pretty.

By this time Luke's hair had gotten much longer than it was when I had first met him. His blonde hair went just past his shoulders. With the dress on and his long hair, he could've easily passed as a girl. For a boy, he looked quite feminine.

One afternoon, when his family were at my house, Luke announced that he wanted to change his name, so he could really feel like a girl. Thankfully, Luke's Mum, Liz, wasn't too shocked about it, most likely as she knew this was coming.

By this time we were already starting to refer to Luke as a she, so it seemed fitting that she got a girl's name. Liz told Luke that she needed to have a good think about it, and that in two weeks time they'd discuss it again to see if she had any ideas.

During this time Luke was extremely excited. She began by making a list of all the names of the girls in our class and seeing which ones she liked most, which turned out to be Sarah, Ava and Chloe. Yet she decided those names didn't fit her. I remember one time when my Mum took us out for ice cream, she ran over to any girl she could see and asked for their name. Which resulted in many scoldings from my Mum. But still after this, Luke hadn't found a name she liked.

When the two weeks were up, our families went out to lunch. As we sat down at our table, Luke looked disappointed as she told us,

"I still have not got a name that I like." She hunched over and set her head on the table as she looked straight ahead.

"Don't rush it sweetheart, this is a very hard decision to make at your age. You need to take your time as your name is very important. You'll know what name you're meant to have when you hear it." Liz comforted as she rubbed Luke's back.

"Well hello there, how's everyone doing this afternoon?" Our cheery server asked, after walking up to our table.

"Not too good actually, I think we'll need two ice cream sundaes for the little ones," My mum said, smiling at her.

Our server wrote down the order quickly onto her notepad before looking at Luke and crouching down, "What's your name, princess?" She asked,

"Dunno..." Luke answered, and turned her head to face the server, a blank expression on her face,"What's yours?"

"I'm Leah," She replied and gave a small smile.

Luke's head shot up, startling the server.

"I'm Leah, I'm Leah, I'm Leah!" Luke proclaimed.

Leah (the server), straightened up with a confused look on her face.

"Leah, that's the name you want?" Luke's father, Andrew asked,

"It's perfect," Luke/Leah beamed.

Andrew stood up, reached into his wallet and pulled out a twenty dollar bill. He walked over to Leah (the server) and placed it into her hand before saying,

"I know you don't think you did anything, but you've just changed my daughter's life and I can't thank you enough for that," Andrew told her,

"Sir I can't accept this," She replied, handing the money back to Andrew,

"Please take it, it's nothing in comparison to what you just did,"

"Well, um, thank you sir. Would you like me to come back later for you all to order?" Leah asked while putting the note into her front jean pocket.

"That would probably be best, thank you Leah."

That was the day when Luke became Leah.