her;muke

0.2

Even though Leah had a new name, she still remained Luke at school, in fear of people's opinions. While her Mum thought it would be a good idea for Leah to be able to dress how she wanted, her Dad insisted Leah remain as a boy at school to save the drama. Even though at six, no one really had judgemental opinions of classmates. It was only when we got older, that it became harder for Leah to fit in.

When year five came around, fitting in with the boys became harder as they mainly wanted to play sport and get muddy which wasn't Leah's thing. And fitting in with the girls became harder than it was as they started maturing and doing things that became awkward with a boy around. So mainly during lunch, Leah and I sat together with no one else.

We weren't really bothered by this as we certainly enjoyed each other's company but it was never as fun as what we could do without our peer's judging eyes around us. In public, Leah had to be Luke and couldn't do girly things.

It was hard at times to remember to which name to call her. I had a few minor slip ups but they thankfully went unnoticed.

When we went into Intermediate, we had the same kids we had primary with and some new ones also. For some reason, intermediate kids seemed to think picking on people was a cool thing to do. So despite nothing changing with Leah, she still dressed like a boy and had the name Luke, the kids picked on her for having long hair which made her look girly. Then these kids who went from unjudgemental five year olds, suddenly became bullying pre-teens in only a small space of time.

Starting intermediate made Leah nervous as she realized she should be going through puberty soon. Her parents had been taking her to counseling and she started on hormone blocking injections. The blockers help to suppress facial hair, deep voices and the Adam's apple. Yet this made Leah stand out.

While I started going through puberty, with all of the above happening to me, as Leah was on the blockers, none of it happened to her. She was teased for this as they thought it was funny how Leah was the only 'boy' who wasn't going through puberty. It was the same story for the girl who was the last to get a bra, or even boobs. She was constantly called a boy as she was flat chested. Her name was Lily. We became friends with her as none of the girls wanted to hang out with her. Leah and I were outsiders so it just made sense for Lily to fit in with us. She was picked on for seeming more masculine than feminine. Which wasn't at all her fault. She, unlike Leah, actually was a late bloomer.

I got asked many times by the guys at my school why I never hung out with them anymore. When we were younger, I used to hang out with them, I guess they really did deserve an explanation as I barely hung out with them after I was eight. They told me how many girls at school were interested in me yet they wouldn't dare go out with me as I hung out with Lily and Leah. It came across to them as if I was throwing away my social life to hang out with 'losers'. Yet Leah and Lily were my friends, my real friends. And I wasn't going to ditch them for some possible popularity.

Leah always knew that I was throwing away my friendships just for her. One day when I came over to her house on the weekend, she started yelling at me as soon as I came for being an idiot and not being friends with the boys at school. She said she was fine on her own and that she didn't need me. Took me twenty minutes to calm her down. It hurt me that she thought I was better off without her. I wouldn't leave my best friend for people that bullied her, and if I did, I would be incredibly disgusted with myself.

A few days after the argument, I walked into school noticing Calum, my old friend, sitting beside Leah on the bench. As I got closer, I could hear what he was saying to her.

"You're a faggot aren't you. That's why you haven't gone through puberty, that's why you have such long hair. Fucking disgusting." He spat at Leah,