Increase the Medication

I Feel Like a Bad Girl

Finally it was Saturday!

My alarm clock read '11:37'. Shit, I was meeting Gerard at the park at noon. I threw off the covers and pulled out my outfit from my closet, which was dark high waisted shorts, sheer black tights, brown combat boots, a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles shirt, and a green and black flannel that had also belonged to my dad.

Running into the bathroom, I brushed my teeth and applied lipstick. I walked back into my bedroom and grabbed my Marlboros from my red flannel and tucked them into the pocket of the one I had on. Then I left the bathroom and ran downstairs.

Mom was at work, so I didn't have to worry about explaining myself.

I headed out the door and towards the park around the corner, shuffling my boots along little bits of broken asphalt and glass.

I made my way over to the lopsided and rusting yellow merry-go-round, sitting down and staring at my boots.

The merry-go-round started to move, so I looked around. Gerard was sitting on the other side, spinning it with his feet. I pulled my legs up and crawled over next to him.

"Hi Gerard," I said quietly.

"Oh, hi Faye. Didn't see you," he replied, looking at me.

I remembered last night, wondering if he did too. I decided to ask him.

"Gerard, do you remember last night?" He tensed up, I could sense it.

"Faye, I'm sorry, I didn't want you to get involved with my problems, I was fucked up last night, and-"

I cut him off.

"Why didn't you tell me? Gerard, if that's a regular thing, you need help."

He looked at me with those sad eyes, full of pain and desperation.

"I know, the guys have tried to help me, but I just.. can't," he said sadly.

"Yes you can! Don't ever say you can't!" I exclaimed.

"I disappoint so many people.."

"Gerard, you don't disappoint me."

"You just wait."

I grabbed his hand and shook my head.

"You don't and won't." He sighed.

"Thanks Faye."

Those brown eyes were just so sad... But why? Everybody has a reason for depression, right? Maybe I could help him. Or maybe not. I've got my own problems.

Anxiety, depression..

"I'm gonna go home," I said quietly. We hadn't been at the park for much longer than ten minutes, but I honestly felt rather uncomfortable after the incident last night.

He shrugged and smiled. "Okay. See you around."

So I got up and walked up the street back to my house. Mom wouldn't be home until nine thirty.

On my way back, I ran into Frank, headed the same direction.

"Just the girl I was looking for. I wanted to see if you wanted to hang out," Frank said, a cigarette between his teeth.

"Sure. Come in."

"Nice place," Frank commented.

"Thanks," I said, flopping on the couch. Frank picked up my feet, sat down, and dropped them on his lap.

"Respect the toes!" I yelled, taking my socks off and wiggling my toes in his face. He laughed and tickled my feet.

"Dammit!" I said, changing sides so my head was on his lap.