Increase the Medication

I Only Wanted to Fly

Slowly, I opened my eyes. Everything hurt, unlike when I was in the forest. I had felt perfectly fine then.

"Hello?" I croaked. My voice wouldn't recover until I had gotten used to speaking for a few minutes.

I opened my eyes fully, scanning the room. My mom was asleep on one of the chairs, and aside from her, the room was empty. Flowers and propped up cards and stuffed animals adorned with hearts all lay across the windowsill. No doubt the work of my friends.

"Mom!" I tried to yell, but it hurt my voice. How long had I been asleep?

My mom stirred in her awkwardly-positioned sleep and looked at me.

"Faith!" she cried, getting up but realising she probably shouldn't hug me considering the pain I was in. "Oh, Faith, why did you do that? We're you mad at me?"

I ignored her. My mom was the last person I wanted to speak to right now. "Where's Gerard?" I asked, my voice cracking a bit. "Also, water."

My mom grabbed a styrofoam cup off the rolling bedside table and put the straw to my lips. I drank the room temperature water slowly but happily, glad to have something smoothing out my husky voice.

"I don't know where Gerard is. He was here from the time he found out you were hospitalised until shortly ago. Said he had to do something or buy something, I don't know," she said bitterly. I could tell she wasn't happy that I had wanted to talk to him and not her, but she also probably didn't want to be here because of me, either. I was just a nuisance. My mom took the cup away after I made a little grunt to signify I was done drinking.

As if on queue, Gerard opened the door to my hospital room, a single red rose in hand.

"She's awake!" Gerard exclaimed happily. He went to the windowsill and placed his rose with the rest of the get-well gifts, and then grabbed a chair and placed it next to my bed to sit with me.

"How long have I been out?" I asked, looking to Gerard. I couldn't move my neck much. I would ask about my injuries later.

"Well, you've been in a coma for about 3 days, sugar," Gerard said sadly.

"I'll be back, you two, I'm going to go get a nurse and tell them Faith is awake now," my mom said suddenly.

"And how badly am I hurt?"

"Well, you didn't fall very far, thank God. A fall any higher probably would've killed you. But you have a pretty severe concussion, internal bleeding, and you broke your left upper arm."

"And it's a miracle that those are the only injuries you attained," another voice said, emerging from the hall along with my mother.

"Faith, this is Dr. Haak. He's a psychiatrist," my mom explained, returning to her chair.

"Ms. Truitt, do you mind telling me why you jumped from your roof?" the doctor asked, pulling up the last remaining chair next to my bed.

"I didn't want to kill myself," I admitted.

"But you jumped from the roof. It seems pretty clear you had intentions of dying, or at least seriously injuring yourself."

"Okay, Doctor. You don't need to be a prick. She said she didn't want to kill herself. I didn't think that telling someone they did something for one reason when they are trying to explain their legitimate reasons was necessarily psychiatry," Gerard snapped.

Dr. Haak seemed taken aback. "My apologies, Ms. Truitt. Well, if your intentions were not of dying, then can you explain why you jumped?" Dr. Haak said, clearly upset by Gerard's words.

It seemed any explanation I could give him would make it seem as though I really was trying to kill myself. If I told him I was trying to fly, he would consider it a suicide attempt. If I told him I wanted to see if my mom cared, it would be a suicide attempt. The only reasonable explanation was that it was an accident.

"Sometimes, when I'm upset, I like to sit on my roof outside my window. Not because I want to die or anything. But being able to see everything around me and really feel the wind and see the sky just calms me down, y'know? I guess I didn't really consider how close I was to the edge the last time I sat out there. I went to stand up and I must've slipped," I said, giving him my most authentic smile.

"I see. Well, maybe try finding something else relaxing, then? Maybe yoga or meditation, or just taking a walk. I wouldn't want to see you back in the hospital for another roof accident."

Dr. Haak smiled at me and very gently patted my shoulder so as not to hurt me, standing up and exiting the room.

"Your legitimate doctor will be in in a while, Faith," mom said. "In the meantime, I have to go. I've got things to do."

My mom collected her things - her purse, scarf, and parka - and left the room.

"So, Gerard, do you know if they know I had the MariJane in my system?" I laughed nervously.

"I think they do from the blood tests. But even so, they won't do anything about it. You're just a kid to them and it's not something worth causing a lot of trouble over," Gerard explained.

I breathed a small sigh of relief.

"Also, do you know about when I can get out of this place? Hospitals freak me out, to be honest."

"I don't know, but I'm sure she does."

Gerard straightened up and I could hear the door to my room opening again.

"I see you've finally woken up, Ms. Truitt!" an overly cheery female voice chirped.

"Uh, yeah," I muttered.

"Great! Well, we've already taken your vitals for the hour, so that's all set. I suppose you want to know when you'll be able to leave?" she asked.

Her voice made me want to shoot her in the foot. "Yes, please do tell."

"Since you do have some injuries, not extensive, you'll probably have to stay a few more days. However, when we do discharge you, you're going to need to take a few days off of school and take it very easy at home. No walking up and down stairs too much, no walking around too much in general, stay hydrated and drink lots if water! You'll need to change the bandage on your stomach at least twice a day to keep away infection," the irritating doctor instructed.

"Why do I have bandage on my stomach?" I questioned.

"Well, your fall caused some internal bleeding, so we had to take you to the OR and stop the bleeding. You're fine now! you just have to take care of the incision area. it's all stitched and bandaged for now, and we'll be taking care of it until you're discharged."

She looked at the two of us, her blonde ponytail swinging as she moved her head. "Any questions for me?"

"No, I think you can go now," Gerard grumbled.

She smiled and left, her red heels clacking on the floor on her way out.

"Well, just a few more days," I muttered.