Reticent (h.s fanfic, punk Harry)

Chapter 34

"Mom?" My voice rang out in the silence of the green house. She wasn't beside me anymore, not gone anymore. 

Anne walked around to all the flowers that were starting to wilt away. Her head turned towards me. I became astonished at her hair. My eyes widened because it'd grown back. I didn't let the surprise distract me from the beauty of it. Looking at it now made me remember all those times she'd let me braid it or brush it. 

But it wasn't just the radiant long hair that startled me in a nostalgic way. Her face possessed such a beautiful glow. It simply liberated me to see her in that way. Her cheeks rosy, her eyes shining brightly, her dark brown lashes littered around her gorgeous green eyes. A harmonious smile playing on her thin lips. "Oh, just taking care of these little babies," she told me. Her warm voice sent delightful shivers over my body. It was warm and just there. It was there. She was here. She was talking to me. 

Her small fingers danced over the petals and the leaves, slowly getting all the attention they craved and she deserved. "They're blooming very beautifully aren't they, darling?" She turned towards me. The flowers behind her had turned a brilliant color, standing taller now. Stems fat with life, petals rich with color.

"Yes," I couldn't believe that was my voice. It sounded so soft, so distant. "They are beautiful." I told her. 

Another smile bloomed her face. I wanted to ask her how she was here, where she was. But maybe she was only sleeping! she wasn't gone anymore, she was never gone! I found myself smiling now. She's here. She's okay. "You're here." A laugh erupted from my lips. "You're actually here!"

She gave a chuckle as well. "Well, of course I am, sweetie. Don't you remember, Harry?" She came closer, and her face came closer, it became more clear. It became almost...lifeless. Her hair again completely gone. All color void. Her lips cracked, her eyes a dull almost grey. 

"Mom?" My voice quivered. This wasn't her, it was cancer. I didn't want that. I want her back. I want her smiles, her laughs. Her hair, her eyes, the color. The life in her was gone. "Mom."

"Remember, Harry. Even when I'm not here, I'm here. I'll always be here." Her voice didn't sound so joyous anymore. 

The mirth left my body, leaving me forlorn and grief ridden. 

A sigh left her lips, and she sat on the floor in front of me. "Oh, it's just so gorgeous here, isn't it, Harry?" She smiled my way. 

"How can you be so happy?" I asked her. 

She shook her head. "I knew all the problems I've caused you. You had to quit school, you had to get a job at such a young age. You didn't even have a childhood, Harry." 

I shrugged, the energy to talk having left me a while ago. "I didn't need a childhood."

"Harry, you simply haven't experienced it yet. Everyone deserves a childhood. I didn't mother you the way I should have."

"I didn't need that. Just...being with you was enough for me, mom. I didn't need fancy toys or expensive presents. I just needed you, and everything I did made me happy because that meant I would be with you." 

Her eyes watered, accompanied by a mournful smile. "Sometimes, I would wish he would have come back, you know. As a little girl I always wished for a family. But as your grandfather died, I thought it was time that I searched for it. Perhaps I was silly to fall for him, but I was always craving his presence. I just wanted to see you on his shoulders smiling and laughing. But...I suppose it just wasn't meant to be." Her gaze fell behind me, her eyes cast towards something. 

"You didn't need him, mom. Neither of us needed him. We were enough for each other."

"You proved it," her hand land on my hair. "You've kept the braid."