Cherish [GirlxGirl]

Chapter 8

I had long debated whether or not to talk about what was happening. It had been three weeks since the first date night and I'd continued to see Terrell. It was difficult because we both worked long hours and he had his mother and Jana to look after.   I wondered if I could share information about our sexcapades freely with my friends. Cherish was a definite no. Georgie would be too much of a prude. Alexis would likely be the most understanding even though she could also be a little judgemental.

She took umbrage at the fact that I would have multiple partners. Even though it was never on the same day, the fact that I did it at all was a problem for her. A little too trampy for her tastes. I finally gave up on holding it in on one my afternoon drives with Alex. She wouldn't say where we were going, only that she wanted me to go with her. I dressed in my standard all black in preparation for a wedding or similar function. I was surprised when we pulled up at Barclay's Park. There were a few cars around but nothing that looked like a major event.

Alex pulled over on the verge and turned the engine off. I expected her to get out and collect her camera but she just sat there, looking up into the broken clay hills. I waited a couple of minutes giving her an opportunity to say what she'd driven so far out to say, if anything, but she just continued to sit and stare. She was deep in thought, about what I couldn't be sure.

"Are we there?" I asked awkwardly.

Her initial response was a distracted "hmm."

"Yo! Alexis! Is this it?"

She sighed heavily and nodded slowly. "I just needed to get out of the house for a bit. I swear since I got pregnant Georgina has been a complete bitch. She's always on me about something. " You gotta take your vitamins, you can't be working this hard, you should drink more water, are you really eating that."

Her tone was mocking and frustrated at the same time but I could hear Georgie in her words.

"Anyway, new topic. Don't want to talk about her today."

I had been about to say something, what I thought would be comforting in the moment, but I decided to go ahead and move on as requested.

" I slept with Terrell." The words tumbled out almost involuntarily. It was the only thing that came to mind as a change of subject. I sat in silence, staring down at my hands as I awaited judgement.

Silence for her didn't last very long. "I see"

I knew what those two simple words meant, judgement was coming. Maybe telling her a time when she was upset with her wife was not my best move.

"When?" Was all she said next.

"Last night." I said softly. I felt like a teen who telling her mother that she had just lost her virginity.

"I see."

"And last week, and a couple times the week before, and the first time was the first night we went out."

I lifted my head finally to see her eyes boring into me. I hated that look. I'd gotten the same one when I told her about Cherish and me. Now this time it seemed sharper. I shifted in my seat, uncomfortable under the weight of her gaze.

"Okay." She said nodding slowly. I had no idea what that meant.

That was new for me. No pressure, no questioning. Maybe she was just delaying or maybe she was distracted by her own situation.

She asked, "is Cherish okay with all this?"

I shook my head. "She doesn't know."

"Oh." She nodded slowly, turned her attention to the road. There was a family up ahead of us, parked on the same side of the road. A boy of about ten was standing to the left of the car, away from the road, holding on tightly to the hand of a toddler. What I could only assume were their parents removed the items from the trunk before they crossed the road to join a group of persons who had already set up on the benches across the road.

Alex was watching them. She continued to even as they exchanged inaudible greetings with their friends.

"You ever think about settling down Nai? Like finding one person you love and want to screw and staying with them instead of...well, not finding one person to love and screw?" Her words were said delicately. I could tell she was trying not to offend me and I it was a little surprising that she cared to try.

I was unsure of my answer. Settling down always seemed like a distant concept and even as the years slipped by it didn't seem to be getting much closer.

"Sometimes, yeah." I responded softly as I tried to suss out where she was taking this conversation. 

"I think you think about it often and it scares you. So much so that you run from it. Every time you see the potential for something long term, something lingering and stable, you bring in someone else."

Her words continued to be delicate even though the subject was touchy. I didn't have a response to give. She hadn't asked a question, just made a series of statements. Whether I thought she was right or wrong I couldn't say but it had definitely gotten me thinking...

...and then denying. I didn't have a problem with commitment to just one person. I could and would one day but for now I was enjoying the freedom that being single offered me. I could be with whoever I wanted and furthermore with any number of people I wanted.

To avoid sounding defensive I kept those thoughts to myself.

"Okay." Was all I uttered.

She echoed my response and turned her attention to the family to our right. I could tell my friend had more on her mind than what she'd said, whether it related to me or her own relationship woes. I sat in silence and waited until she was ready to talk again.