Cherish [GirlxGirl]

Chapter 13

She was getting out of bed to go for her strap. I hated that thing now. It was her way of torturing me, of denying me the one thing I wanted from her most. The intimate kisses. The way her tongue caressed my clit, the way she entered me with just the tip of it but sent shockwaves through my body. I would shiver at the thought of it.

It had been three weeks to the day since the last time she ate me out. Yes I counted the days. I counted the number of times we'd had sex since then too. Seven. I noted that each time she would get me completely naked but kept her underwear on. I was aware that she resisted me touching her first and sometimes wouldn't let me touch her at all. That she kissed me less during sex, that she'd started doing it from behind more often than ever. I realised that we had transitioned into just fucking. In those few weeks it had become about getting each other off, nothing more and nothing less.

She never slept at my apartment anymore either. She'd stay a few minutes, maybe an hour but as soon as I started to drift off to sleep she'd kiss my forehead softly, dress and leave. Upstairs it was different. I could stay as long or as short as I wanted without complaint, but not in my house. It was as if she'd learned all of my old rules and started using them for herself.

When she approached the bed with it I snatched it quickly and threw it back to the end of the bed, back towards the dresser it had come from. It hit the wall with a thud, bounced off the side and flopped onto the floor.

She seemed genuinely disturbed by my actions.

She asked, "What was that for?"

"I'm sick of that thing."

She smiled. "Babe, I have other toys. There's no need to take it out on him."

"Fuck him and fuck your other toys. That's not what I'm interested in."

"Well what do you want then?"

I held the sides of her shirt and pulled her to me; kissed her sensually, flicking each of her lips with my tongue. "That."

She was still smiling but it was awkward now. It was forced; as if she didn't know the right way to say what she wanted to say next and needed to soften the blow.

"I can't" she said with a shrug. "That's the one thing I can't do for you."

"Why's that?"

I knew she would not want to say. She never wanted to. She was always insistent on sparing my feelings at the expense of an open and honest conversation.

"Terrell." I said it so that it would be said and not implied.

I saw her physically recoil at the sound of his name. The smile was fully wiped away now.

"Fine." I said as I climbed off the end of the bed.

"Where are you going?" She asked pleadingly.

"Home since clearly I'm not gonna get what I want here."

"C'mon, see with me on this one. It's weird for me. With you and him...and then you and I..."

"Do you think I just roll out from under him and roll right under you? I'm not that woman."

"I'm not saying you do but this isn't normal for me. I don't know when you're with him, I don't know what you two are doing and it worries me that...well, I worry about..."

I put a hand to her chest stopping her from rambling any more.

"He's not your concern."

"How can he not be? It's like we're wading in the same pool but I don't know where he's been before jumping in."