He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not

Chapter 3

"There's nothing I can do," said Hush, straightening up at last with a sigh. "It may be a matter of weeks or a matter of hours, but she is going to die."

Joker stared at him. "You got a real crap way of breaking bad news, Hush a Bye Mountain. You might wanna work on your bedside manner..."

"I'm not kidding, Joker," interrupted Hush. "I suggest you make peace with the fact. As Aristotle said..."

"And as I said, it ain't over until the fat lady sings," interrupted Joker. "And Harley ain't fat, and I know I ain't a doctor, but to me, she don't look like she's ready to sing yet."

"I understand you're a lunatic, and that you have a difficult time coming to terms with reality, but the truth is she's dying, Joker," snapped Hush. "The only thing either of us can do is make her last days comfortable."

"What if I found out what kinda bacteria she ingested?" asked Joker. "There's got to be a cure somehow, right?"

"I'm afraid it's gone beyond that," retorted Hush. "The bacteria has infected most of her body, and her major organs are shutting down. An antidote isn't going to reverse that process. Nothing is."

Joker glared at him. "Don't take this personally, Hush a Bye Baby, but I tend not to trust doctors."

"That is your prerogative, but you shouldn't have consulted me if you're not going to heed my advice," retorted Hush.

"Which is to just give up," finished Joker. "I ain't the kinda guy who does that, Hush Little Baby. And neither is Harley," he muttered, looking down at her.

"There are some things you can't fight, Joker," retorted Hush. "Death is one of them. As Aristotle said, 'Nature does nothing in vain.'"

"Oh, spare me philosophy from some dead guy in a skirt," retorted Joker. "If he was so smart, how come he's dead, huh?"

"I'm sorry you don't like the diagnosis, but there's nothing I can do about it," snapped Hush. "Her condition is terminal. But as Aristotle said, 'Change in all things is sweet.'"

"Easy for him to say," retorted Joker. "He's dead – he don't have to deal with change. And I'm sure Harley ain't too eager to go join him in in the afterlife. He sounds like a real square."

"I have upheld my part of the bargain," said Hush. "Where is Nygma?"

Joker folded his arms across his chest. "Nah uh, deal's off, Hush Puppy. I didn't need you to come all the way here just to tell me there's no hope. I could have given up without your help."

"I am warning you, clown, do not push me," growled Hush.

"What are you gonna do, Hushy? Quote Aristotle at me?" said Joker.

"I'm going to shoot you in the face," retorted Hush, pulling out his gun. He cried out as it was knocked from his hand suddenly by a hyena seizing his wrist in its mouth. Another hyena leapt at him, knocking him to the ground.

"As Joker said, never underestimate the slavish loyalty of dumb animals," said Joker, petting the hyena as it growled at Hush. "Now maybe you wanna give me another diagnosis."

"There's nothing I can do about the diagnosis!" snapped Hush, struggling to push the hyena off him. "I don't have the power to prevent her death!"

"Aw, sounds like somebody needs a nice shot of good, old fashioned self-esteem!" chuckled Joker. "Happy to oblige a pal like you, Hushy!" he laughed, picking up the gun and pointing it at him. "Sure you don't wanna change your mind? C'mon, Tommy boy, you gotta believe in yourself!"