Still: Prologue

Part One- two

I could hear them snickering, whispering harsh remarks behind my back. But I didn’t care. These young adults don’t deserve to be honored in any way. If I had the courage to speak up, they would be bombarded with my strong sensitive words. I would lash them in any way possible, using all the words that I know.

But I can’t.

I have no one left in this world to depend on. No friends, no family. I don’t know what to do with myself anymore. My parents never existed in my life. How could someone remember from age three, what their parents looked like before the disappeared forever?

Gramps was the only one left to save me. He was a kind old man, took care of me well. We did not talk much, but all the same we understood each other. In that way, it was my expression of love.

No matter what I wanted to do, and even if I came home with a bruised face, he wouldn’t complain at all. He knew I smoked underage, but never said anything. Most grandparents would freak out if their kid suddenly became gothic and wore only dark clothes, but Gramps always respected my decision. He placed bandages on my face and weird stinky ointments that would heal my scars.

But nothing could heal my broken heart of being abandoned and alone at times. Gramps filled that small hole, but it seems as if it’s back.

Maybe it was because, he was the only one I had, and I was the only one he had left.

Blood was always what tied us together.

The bell finally rang. I went outside for once, all the way to the rooftop. I stared out into the city, shivering.

Winter was never really my favorite season. Wearing a shirt and a short black skirt was the only thing I’d wear. I simply refuse to wear anything else.

I sat down on the half-iced top and cried. For the first time in my life, I cried genuinely for myself.

For pitiful, pitiful me.

I stayed like that for almost half an hour. The school bell had rung sometime before, but I could not recall the time.

The last thing I wanted to do was be in class right now.

I rubbed my fists into my eyes, and moved my butt off the ice freezing ground. When I was up, something heavy landed on my shoulders. I immediately turned back to see a tall lean man with long hair placing his coat on me.

He smiled genuinely, but I did not smile back. I just stared at him.

He began talking to me in a causal tone, as if we had been friends forever. I didn’t move, but I listened to what he had to say.

“You can live on like this. I’ve seen what’s life thrown at you, but I definitely think you’ll go through. You’re one heck of a person Nikka, I’m sure you’ll do fine. Just put this behind you. I- I’ll support you.”

He paused for a second.

“Want one?” He held out a packet of cigarettes to me.

Without a second thought, I took one out and lit it up. I didn’t hesitate to show that I knew how.

We stood there, smoking on the rooftop until god knows what time.

I hadn’t noticed that he’d left, but after a while, I felt a little warmer inside.