Inadequate Without You

Chapter (2)

My eyes shot open and I frantically turned towards the boy who had just admitted that he wanted to die to me, I couldn't believe it. Why would anyone want to die? Yeah life can get tough, I should know, but to just want to leave altogether? 

I didn't say anything for a while, neither did he. I just kept staring intensely at him while he continued to glare towards space. It took me a while but realization finally hit me. I suddenly felt like I knew the kid, like we had met somewhere, or maybe even interacted. 

"Do we know each other?" I finally asked, breaking the silence. 

His eyebrows arched up in an annoyed matter, but he refused to spare me a glance. I didn't blame him, here he was admitting that he tried committing suicide and here I was wondering if we ever met. I bit my tongue as it dawned on me how utterly insensistive I was. I was going to apologize when he spoke. 

"We've been going to the same high school for three years, depends if you count that as knowing each other." he shrugged his shoulders nonchalantly and got up. 

"Wait," I grabbed his hand but released it immediately when I saw an angry expression making its way to his face. "Why don't I remember your name?" I followed his lead and got up, too. 

He was walking back up the cliff and I struggled to catch up. 

"You were always the lonely one, weren't Karla?" He snorted, but that didn't stop him from turning around.

I stopped, so this kid knew Megan too? 

"What the hell?" I called to him as I picked up speed again, angrily trying to catch up. "You try to drown yourself, and than start making accusations about me?" I yelled in one breath. "Why don't you start by stopping and actually looking at me so we can discuss what happened back there," I ordered. 

That earned me another snort and I could see him shaking his head, but in a split second he turned around to face me. If I were in any situation, or if I was simply any other teenage girl I would've been delighted with the sight of him in a wet nike t-shirt that clung desperately onto his body, and the sight of his disheveled hair begging for a hand to brush it out, or those emerald green eyes that were practically peircing through my soul that very minute. But I wasn't, I wasn't affected by him at all. In fact I was somewhat annoyed and frustrated.

"I don't owe you an explanation," he shot back, "Apparenetly neither did Megan," 

"Don't you dare speak of Megan," I threatened, venom shot with every word I uttered. 

"Don't you ever wonder why she jumped off the cliff?" He asked amused with my outburst. "I mean everyone knows that jumping off that cliff is dangerous and could possibly lead to death, don't you ever ask yourself why she did it? Could it have possibly been because she wanted to escape-"

"I swear to god if you finish that sentence you'll be wishing you drowned back there," I was being stern. I tried to seem calm and collected, but in reality I was dying inside. My stomach was churning and I needed to get away from him as fast as possible. 

        He rolled his eyes, "Trust me me, wanting to drown back there has nothing to do with you. Just don't go on trying to save other people when you couldn't even save your own sister," he spat the last sentence out in disgust, and walked away. Leaving me alone and hopeless. Leaving me to dwell on every single word he said. 

So much for getting my mind off things. 

        I took my time on my walk back home. Which wasn't the smartest idea because I caught myself thinking back to what the guy had said. I was annoyed at the fact that a guy I didn't even know the name of, controlled so much of my emotions at that moment.

        The guy was just bitter, was my logical explanation as to why he had accused me of not being able to 'save' my sister. He probably had something going on in his life and wanted to take it out on me. It's okay, nothing he said even matters. I tried convincing myself. 

"I mean everyone knows that jumping off that cliff is dangerous and could possibly lead to death, don't you ever ask yourself why she did it?" he had said. 

He was right in a way, everyone does know that jumping off the cliff is dangerous, but he was wrong in  assuming I never asked myself why she was so persistent on jumping. I've been asking myself why for the past two months, before I came to the conclusion that it really didn't matter. However, that was before that guy made it seem like he knew why Megan jumped and that was why I had my mind set on finding him again, and getting more than an explanation as to why he was trying to drown himself. 

~

"Honey, oh god! I was so worried about you!" my mother engulfed me in a guy as soon as I walked through the door. 

"What are you talking about, I was only gone a couple of hours," I said as I tried to unstrangle myself from her tight hug. 

"My point exactly, you havent really left your room since the funeral and when I went up there and couldn't find you I freaked. Where did you end up going?" she eyed me carefully as I made my way upstairs. 

"To the cliff," I called back to her nonchalantly, because I knew that would get her to stop with the questions. 

And I was right, she didn't say anything after that. I shut the door behind me and curled up in my bed. I checked my phone real quick, only to be alarmed with the fact that it was seven thirty. 

It took me a while but I finally came to the conclusion that I wasn't going to be able to fall asleep anytime soon, and with my stomach growling and begging for a meal I decided to satsify it by going downstairs in search for something to eat. 

I crept downstairs so no one would be able to question why I was out of my room for a second time this day, I honestly didn't know. I guess being stuffed in a room for two months really changes a person. I was almost down when I hear a few whispers coming from no other than my mother. 

"I'm really worried about her, John. Did you speak with that grief counselor like you promised?"

"Yes, I did." Came my fathers' reply, his voice hoarse and tired. 

"And?" My mother urged him on.

"Her first session is tomorrow-"

"and when was I going to hear about this?" I jumped from the last step and into the living room, with my arms crossed and a grim expression masking my face. "Was I going to be blindly driven to this so called 'grief counselor' and be forced into speaking to her?'" I wasn't even sure if they were talking about me, but it was a pretty logical inference.

My parents exchanged a knowing look, before my mom spoke up.

"This is for your own good, I know you might not see it now but trust me when I say that." She gave me a stern look, and her eyes were staring straight at me.

She knew she had won, that's all she ever had to say to get me to comply with whatever she had in store for me. I would always agree to her whenever she'd shoot me that stern look of hers, and than when I'd complain to Megan she'd tell me it was my fault and that I had to learn to speak up for myself. She was right, I had to let my mother know that I'm not a little puppet she can compel to do whatever she wants.

"I don't trust you," I said "and nothing you do will change that, and I won't go." 

"Yes you will," my dad said, finally looking up from the book in his hand. "You will go to tomorrow and this is the last we will hear about it." His tone held an edge of finality and authority and I knew he wasn't kidding. Instead of saying anything back, I just rolled my eyes and headed to the kitchen. 

Well at least I had tried. 

~~~

Comments are greatly appreciated! :)

I won't be updating for about a week because I'm going to be on a family vacation and there won't internet but hey it was kind of a long chapter?