Inadequate Without You

Chapter (5)

I know you're probably thinking I rushed out of the bakery, which would've been the cliche thing to do, but quite the contrary I tried my best to ignore Chris while engaging in a semi-friendly conversation with Andrew.  I was never really the social one, and I was out of practice considering I was cooped up in my room for the last two months, so Andrew did most of the talking. We kept it casual and talked about school and our mutual love for cats and bunnies. Chris left a while later, and Andrew insisted that I go home and that he'd cover for me. 

"It's your first day, you shouldn't dive right into it. Go have some fun and enjoy your last days of freedom before school rolls back up again," he had said enthusiastically. 

I smiled and agreed, but little did he know that I actually had nowhere else to be. 

~~~

The drive home seemed longer than usual. I used to always enjoy driving alone with my music blasting, but ever since Megan died everything in life lost meaning. 

I parked the car in the garage, but couldn't get myself to get out. I was so fed up with the four walls of my room so I headed to the place that used to give me so much comfort. I knew deep down that I wasn't going to enjoy the place as much as I used to, but at this point I had nothing more to lose. It was a ten minute drive from my house to what used to be Megan and I's favorite bakery; Mama's little bakery. 

The smell of baked cookies and the aroma of the freshly brewed coffee overwhelmed me right as I walked in. I walked to my usual table at the end of the bakery and sat there taking it all in for a while. It was the first time I had actually willingly gone out in a while, and I felt light headed. 

I had been sitting in the bakery for what seemed like forever when someone finally interrupted my peace and quiet.

"Can I get you anything?" a voice asked.

"No, I'm fine. Thank you." I said, without looking up from my phone.

"Karla?" the voice all but yelled in shock.

Shit. This person knew me and now I was going to have to actually socialize. I slowly looked up, silently wishing this person would apologize for mixing me up with someone else and that would be the end of it. 

I wasn't as lucky. No surprise there. 

"Mandy?" I really did try to sound enthusiastic, but instead I sounded shocked and irritated, which to be quite honest was exactly how I was feeling. 

"Oh My God! How have you been? I'm so sorry for your loss! Megan was a friend to us all and we all really miss her." She spoke so fast, as if fearing that I would get up and disappear for another two months before she got to speak her mind. 

"Thank you," I managed to say. 

"Listen, I know how hard this is for you-"

I stopped listening. I was so used to the typical speech about how she understands my pain and how she's always going to be there for me. So instead I sat there and faked a smile and nodded every couple of seconds so she would actually think I was listening. 

I had mastered that act, I had been using it for years whenever I'd hang out with Megan's friends. No offense to them but they liked to talk too much, and so instead of being rude I would smile and nod and no one has ever questioned whether or not I was listening. 

"-So listen, I'm having a small party at my house later tonight and I know that's not usually your scene but-"

"I'll be there" I said, leaving her dumbfounded. 

I really wasn't planning on going, but anything was better than having her go on for the next thirty minutes. 

"G-great!" she stuttered, still recovering from the fact that I, Karla Morales, had actually agreed to go to a party of hers.