Inadequate Without You

Chapter (12)

I took in a deep breath, not able to properly comprehend what I was seeing. Concealing the walls of the closet I was now in, were pictures of me. I crept closer to a picture of me with a goofy grin on my face, my hands draped carelessly on a guy I didn't recognize. I turned to another picture, one of me with a woman who ironically enough I didn't know, the woman however seemed familiar. Although I was positive I never met her, a gut feeling told me that we had met before. There was one picture that stood out to me the most, a picture of me with Chris, both of us with plastered smiles on our faces. That's when I realized that I hadn't even known Chris before the cliff incident, which meant that I wasn't the one in these pictures. I tried convincing myself that these were all photoshopped pictures of me and that Chris was really a psycho who had a slight obsession with me, but I couldn't run away from the truth, these pictures weren't photoshops of me because they weren't even pictures of me; they were pictures of Megan.

It took me a while to grasp everything, I was breathing heavily, my hands were sweating and my head was twirling with different questions and obvious answers that I did everything to ignore. I'm pretty sure I looked over ever picture more than three times before I decided to take them all down and get the hell out of here, and most importantly away from Chris. Just as I was about to take down the second picture, the door knob turned and in came Chris. His back was to me at first, it seemed like he was making sure no one was following him, before he finally shut the door behind him quietly and let our a heavily sigh of relief.

That is of course until he saw me, to say he was mortified would be like saying Mount Everest was only steep hill.

It took him a while but he finally mustered up the courage to let out a few words, "I-I-I can ex-xplain."

I was so close to accusing him with the billion accusations I had In mind, but I've seen enough movies to know that that won't lead me anywhere. So Instead I took a deep breath, and nodded my head, gesturing for him to go on with this explaining. Knowing well that his words might change a lot.

"Would you like to take a seat first? It's kind of a long story," he managed to glance anywhere but at me.

It was strange seeing him like this, long gone was the confident jerk who had a comeback for everything. In his place was a nervous guy who would do anything to rewind the last ten minutes and make sure I never knew anything about what he was about to say.

Being the rational person I am I agreed to finding a seat In his office. (Okay so maybe he had to do with fact that my legs were killing me more than the fact that I was rational.)

"I don't know where to start," he was getting even more nervous by the second, because his voice was shaky.

"Start with explaining why the hell you have pictures of my sister all over the walls in your closet" I snapped.

I was taking advantage of him being In this state, I was being a little meaner than usual, but I didn't care.

He took a deep breath and brushed his hand through his hair, carelessly.

"Megan and I were friends," he finally said.

"Megan had a lot of friends," I said nonchalantly, " but I'm pretty sure none of them have pictures of her on their walls,"

He glared at me. And that drove me insane. The fact that he had the decency to glare at me after what I just saw was insane, but then again nothing about this guy screamed 'sane' to me.

"Cat got your tongue?" I snapped, after waiting in silence for a little over a minute.

"Will you stop with your attitude," he gave me another glare, " it's hard enough that I don't know what to say, and your crazy psycho attitude isn't really helping. So when you agree to shut up I'll continue," he was about to smirk but seemed to remember why we were having this conversation in the first place and decided against it.

Crazy psycho attitude? Me the one with the psycho attitude, I was so close to cracking up. I would have literally fallen on the floor laughing, If I wasn't eager to hear him out. So I bit my lip and instead of throwing a snarky remark I rolled my eyes

"As I was saying," he finally said after waiting for me to stop with my heavy breathes and glares, "Megan and I were closer than you think. In fact we were closer than anyone at school thought. To you all, Megan was just some chick I was trying to hook up with, a guy Megan's friends warned not to get too close with. As if I was going to bite." He chuckled bitterly to himself. "To me Megan was more than that, to Megan I was more than that."

I opened my mouth In shock, was he implying what I think he was?

"No we didn't do what you're thinking of," he rolled his eyes. " Megan was there for me when I needed her most and I did the same for her'" his face was still stiff, he was showing no emotion as he sat In his chair comfortably

"Megan had no problems," I snorted at his lame excuse, "She had the perfect life," a hint of jealousy was evident In my tone.

"And that's how I know that you and Megan weren't as close as you think you were," he smirked, "Megan's life was screwed up, she just knew how to hide everything pretty well,"

I shook my head, "you do know that I'm her twin right? As In not only do we-" I cleared my throat,"-did we look alike, we shared more than just our looks. Megan and I didn't keep secrets from each other." I said In finality.

"That's the thing you idiot!" Chris yelled as he got up and shoved his chair back, causing it to fall on the floor with a loud thump. "She cared about you! She cared about all her friends so she knew she couldn't overwhelm you all with what she was going through! So Instead of writing In a diary she came to someone she doesn't-didn't give a crap about." He was facing the window now, looking out of it longingly.

I couldn't see his face but I'm pretty sure if I could, a pained expression would be masking it.

I was speechless to say the least, his words didn't sound like a lie. In fact they sounded like the truth, they sounded so true that I couldn't help but feel sorry for him and envy him at the same time. He was right about Megan not hurting the people she loved, but she also only trusted a few people, a few that she felt safe with. And the fact that she felt safer with Chris than me, pained me.

I shook my head, still not allowing myself to believe him, despite that deep down I knew he was speaking the truth.

"You still didn't answer the question of why you have those pictures." I finally said.

And that's when Chris turned around, a pained expression was indeed masking his face, but that's not what made me gasp in shock. It's what he said as he stared into my eyes intensely," Megan was dying Karla, she was dying and wanted as many memories of her as possible. She didn't want to die and be forgotten just like everyone else. So I tried capturing and collecting pictures of her and her memories so it would be sort of like a goodbye gift. I was too late though, because she killed herself before her sickness could kill her,"

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A/N

Hey guys! How are y'all? Soo I reread my story and oh my god does it need some serious work! I decided to edit the chapters and fix a bit of the plot before I upload any more chapters. Also this chapter is kind of confusing because my previous chapters haven't explained a lot sooo the editing should help with that.

Anyway don't forget to leave any thoughts you have down below! I hope your having a lovely day.