Are You Worthy?

Day 5

Back at home...

I wake up on the couch. Huh, I must have fell asleep, I think as I get up and put my coffee mug in the sink. I check the time. 1:00. It's dark outside; probably 1:00 in the morning.

I'm not at all tired, so I decide to do some work on my computer. I check my email, and the first thing I see is an email from my boss. It's titled Work.

"Well shit, I've got nothing to loose," I mumble. I open the message, and begin reading the strangely short message.

Carol,
I'm not sure why you haven't came to work in a few days, but I' m going to assume it's for a good reason. Let me know when you decide to come back to work. I'm using your 267 vacation hours as an excuse for your absence. If you cannot return for a long period of time, please, let me know.
Hope all is well,
Jared White, Manager

"That bastard!" I shout as I close the screen. How does he not know what's been going on? It's literally on every channel, in every newspaper.

Well, since they aren't letting anyone visit Morgan, I guess I can go to work tomorrow. Or today, I guess.

That took up a whopping five minutes, I think as I sit back on the couch. "What the hell am I going to do now?"

I realize that I'm starving. I go to the fridge. No food. I guess I know what I'm going to do right now.
____

As I'm driving to the store, I begin thinking about Morgan.

Is she alive? I left my cell phone at home.

Is her soul in heaven? I don't believe in God.

Is she alive? I feel dead inside.
Is she sleeping? I know I want to be.

Does she feel pain? I don't know anymore.

All of my emotions have mixed together into a cocktail of sadness, fear, hunger, and sleepiness. I don't understand anymore. What have I done to deserve this, why me?

I never appreciated her. I always pointed out the bad things about her. Like no teenage girl doesn't feel bad enough about themselves. I can't imagine how much she dreaded the court sending her back with me.

As I'm driving down the freeway, I take in the scenery. It's so peaceful. There's hardly any cars out, the city is all lit up.

I've never appreciated anything. My job, my house, my kind neighbors, my husband, now my ex-husband, who always tried to make me happy. Hell, I never could even appreciate my own daughter, my own flesh and blood.

Without even realizing it, I pull into the parking lot of the grocery store. Funny how you can unknowingly do something that you were intending to do.

"What does that even mean?" I question my thoughts as I step out of my car. I'm so tired.

I begin to walk away when I realize I left the car running, and the door wide open. I go back and turn it off, then close the door.

As I walk up to the entrance of the store, I see a little old lady standing by the doors. She's wearing all kinds of drape-looking things, and a veil covering her face. She has a cane, dark wood, with a strange metal decal on the top. It looks like a crow.

As soon as she looks at me, she gasps. She removes the veil from over her face, and looks me dead in the eye.

"You have recently lost a loved one," she says, in an old, sinister voice.

"I'm sorry?" I ask. Do I know her?

"Your daughter has been taken from you. An accident?-" she pauses for a minute, and just stares at me, before continuing. "Ahh, she was a very pretty young lady. Long, blonde hair, deep brown eyes..." She trailed off.

I no longer found this lady frightening, or creepy. I just wanted answers, well, an answer.

"Why are you talking in the past tense? She's still alive! She isn't dead!" I start to get agitated. She isn't dead, is she?

"She may not be gone yet, but she won't come back. She's gone," she answers.

I hear something behind me. I turn around, startled. When I see it's just one of the workers collecting carts, I sigh in relief. I turn back around to talk to the lady more.

I see her walking towards a shady looking car. She's already half way across the parking lot.

"Excuse me, miss? Uhh, you- you left your... cane," I call after her as I pick up her heavy wooden cane.

"Well, if she's already that far, she doesn't really need it then, now does she?" I mumble as I examine it. It has some weird writing crap on the side. Old people these days.
____

The entire drive home, I think about what the lady told me.

She's gone.

Now what the hell is that supposed to mean? Obviously she's gone, she's in a coma. She's at the hospital.

I try to stay awake. I hear the groceries bouncing in the back of the car. You're almost home. Just a little further.

I pull into the driveway, and give myself a little victory breath. I get out of the car, this time remembering to turn it off, and go inside. I think about running up the stairs, but I convince myself not to, because who willingly runs? Not me, that's for damn sure. So, I trudge up the stairs. I put on the same pajamas I had on earlier, and plop onto my bed. I feel like a kid again, for some reason.

I turn on the TV so my room isn't completely dark and quiet. I curl up under the sheets, and just lay there. I'm too tired to even think about anything that's going on in my life, and soon find myself in a restless sleep.

I'm a little girl again.
'Wake up, you disgusting bitch!'
'Mommy, what's wrong?' She's not talking to me, and it's not my mom. It's the old lady from the grocery store I'm hearing. I peer out of my bedroom door, and see the old lady, leaning over Morgan, all hooked up to the monitors, laying in her hospital bed.

I turn around, and now find myself in front of a man. It's Sean, my ex-husband. Except this is our wedding day. I turn to my right, and the only people watching are 6 kids. Three boys, three girls. Two of the girls look the same. One of the boys has bleach blonde hair, another has glasses. And Morgan.

I blink and find myself driving. I'm on a bridge, and I can see the end of it. I can't stop the car, I can only shove my foot further into the gas pedal.
'It'll all be over soon,' says someone to my right. I look, and see Morgan; pale, fragile-looking Morgan. Dead Morgan.
I look ahead, right before I drove right off the bridge, into a sea of black void.
____

Hallo! So like yea, I know (at least where I live) it's like midnight, but aye, sleep is for the weak. Have a good day today/tomorrow/yesterday. Yeah, I need sleep. Goodnight.