Ex-Stream Love (Under Editing)

Chapter - 8

do listen to the song...it suits perfectly for the story..!!

His kiss was punishing me. My hands immediately went over his chest in an attempt to stop him. I tried pushing him away with pressure over his chest but his hands slithered on my upper arm stopping me with his strong grip over them.

Only one thing i experienced was he grew stronger with time. His tactics grew over time. His meanness fed in wicked ways.

He violently pressed me against the wall still caught in the kiss. In a final attempt I pushed him away, Tears and lipstick smeared my face. At that moment Sid seemed like a beast to me. The beast which I loved. The beast for which i was ready to leave everything.

"Sid, what the heck are you doing?" i screamed at him with vulnerability clear in my tone. Vulnerability is what which makes me hate myself.

His hands left me.

"What do you even think of me? A slut to kiss whenever you want?" i pushed him hard on his chest, anger and hate consuming me with which he stumbled back with a frown on his face.

I never uttered those kinds of words, they make me feel cheap but with him i lose my sanity, my respect, my mind in all.

"What are you speaking?" His voice calm and pain filled. "You know that i would never think of you like that. Why do you hurt me using these words?"

"The way you behave with me makes me feel as if i am Sid. You always make me lose my sanity. You make me feel cheap." My voice calm and tears wetting my cheek.

"You are doing and did everything in your power to make my life a hell. Now and in past too. What did I do to you? I always danced to your tune even when everything was against my principles and whole in all against my heart." Crying more I moved away from him more towards a corner, hiding my vulnerability in vain.

I don't know why i felt so cheap. I don't know what happened to me? At that moment it felt right. I felt uttering that word, me in that stance. His actions put me in such despair that it felt absolute normal imagining myself as low.

I wiped my tear stained face in a coarse action making the skin turn colour. Making my skin hurt. Still the hurt he caused topped it making me feel callous. My fingers roughly combed my hair leaving it messy and an uneven breathe escaped my lungs.

He was silently staring at me with mixture of emotions reflecting from his face. His eyes mirrored pain and hurt. His little finger of right hand twitched with a nerve beating on his temple. Fisting his hand too tight to his strength he turned his head away avoiding me.

"If you don't want me uttering or referring myself as such then get the hell out of my life. You refer yourself as you love me right, show me the love. Love me and as your lover give me the privilege of leading a peaceful life. Grant me this single wish and this would be my last." In a sharp tone i left him unknowing of his response.

Sometimes in these kinds of situations i feel proud of myself that i am standing for myself but it wouldn't even take a single moment for the sand fort of my strength to crumble down when a wave of 'Sid' hits it.

I mindlessly strolled down the aisle connecting the open space for the office. Gripping the iron rails, standing at one lonely corner i tried controlling the shiver running course my body, which abhorrently failed.

I tried concentrating on the queue of trees and the birds nesting on them. Their home, to which by the end of the day they would return after enduring all the hardships the day has to offer. They return to their family, family which gives you peace and support in any kind of condition you got struck in. Observing the nest a pang of pain pinned my heart.