Chapter 8
Loud knocking at the door woke me up. I slowly opened my eyes and realised I had no idea where I am. Someone knocked again. Then I slowly started to remember the day before. Right, I'm in my hotel room in Los Angeles, where me, my dad and 5SOS boys went to spent the last day before they set off for the tour. I remembered going for the trip around town, seeing Hollywood sign and The Walk Of Fame but what was I doing after? I tried really hard to think about it but my mind was a black hole. I was just thanking God I'm safe in the hotel. I got up from the bed to open the door but when I came across mirror I realised that I'm wearing the same clothes I went out in yesterday, my make-up, a little smudged but was still on and my side braided curly hair was now a total mess. "Was I that tired yesterday night?" I asked myself in my head, still trying to figure out what could I be doing. I walked up to the door and opened them, trying to fix my hair in last few seconds but I wasn't able to make up my terrible look so fast.
-Good morning- his voice was a little shaky and the dark puffs under his eyes were clearly showing he didn't get enough sleep last night. Luke was staring at me with his beautiful, light blue eyes like he was waiting until I say something.
-Oh, hey, excuse my look but I just woke up, do you want to..
-Have you seriously done that?- he interrupted me in the middle of the sentence and his eyes started to fill up with the tears. I was so confused I had no idea what's going on or what to say. I made a silly face asking for explanation:
-Done what?
-Don't act like you don't know, Liv. You can't fool me because you are doing this to me on purpose- a single tear fell down his cheek. I moved closer to hug him but he jumped back.- I seriously thought there's something special between us. For the moment I saw you, I knew you weren't like the other girls. But I couldn't be more wrong. Does it make you feel happy? Breaking my heart?- I couldn't stop him from shouting at me but I still had no idea what happened.
-Please, Luke, stop, I don't know what are you talking about. Can we just talk inside, I don't to wake other hotel guests up- I was actually begging him but he was still standing there, looking at me like I murdered someone.
-It's freaking 1PM Liv, everyone is already up, the boys are out for the rehearsals and I was waiting until you charitably explain this thing to me, I am sitting here since 2 hours and I couldn't think about anything else. But you seem not to care enough to even explain me why!- I've never seen Luke so annoyed and upset at the same time in my entire life, even on the pictures in the Internet and stuff. His face covered up in a blush and his eyes got a little red from the tears.
-But I don't know what are you talking about!- I started to get pissed off as well.- You mean a lot to me and there is something special between us, don't destroy it!
-You already did. Seriously, him? Why is he better than me? And you know perfectly what am I talking about. You let Ashton snog you when you went out with him yesterday! But I'm not mad at you or him...- I suddenly stopped listening to him, as warm feeling filled my body. "You let Ashton snog you, you let Ashton snog you"
-Liv, are you listening to me? Why the hell are you crying now? You are a mess!- he said when I was still standing in my hotel room doors, and I couldnt help tears streaming down my face, because now I remembered what I was doing yesterday night. The party. The drinks. Making out in the middle of the dancefloor. Ashton carrying me back to the hotel and getting me safe in the bed.
-I...- "I fucked up. I'm sorry. I love you" but instead of saying something that might actually save our relationship a little I mumbled: - ... I don't want you to cry.
-I promise I won't. But I will still care about you- besides what I've just said he wiped the last tear from his eye and grabbed my hand- I understand you like him more and it's ok. Nobody ever wants me Liv. But if you are gonna be happy with him, then I will be happy for you. But if he would ever hurt you I just want you to know, you still can count on me. And I will be there. Always.- In that moment I wanted to say that I love him. I wanted him to know that what happend between me and Ashton was nothing and that he is the only one I care about. But inside, I knew it wasn't true. No matter how much I wanted it to be just an accidental kiss I knew it wasn't.
