I've never felt so lost in my life. I was the last one standing in front of the freshly packed pile of dirt before the gravestone. I didn't want to move. I *couldn't* move.
I felt a warm hand on my shoulder but couldn't pull my eyes away from the grave. "Niall," there was a pause in Ed's voice as he tried to find the right words to say. "I'm so *so* sorry. I can't even imagine what you're feeling right now." He paused again and when I didn't respond, continued. "We're all going to miss Ella *so* much. I, uh, I wrote a song about her when I found out," he handed me a crumpled yellowing piece of paper and, for the first time since I started staring at her grave, looked up. "It's called Moments."
I nodded, partly to get rid of him because I wasn't in the mood to talk to anyone. "Thanks," my voice cracked and I swallowed a sob. "Thank you Ed."
He nodded with a pitying smile and walked away. No one else came up to me during the end of the funeral. Thy knew I wouldn't respond. How could I? She was mine. She was the only girl who I could truly call mine. She was the only girl I *wanted* to call mine. Ella was my everything. She was part of me...and now she's gone...
Soon the only people left in their black tuxes were the other boys, and they were waiting for me. I knew I would only have about a week for a break. We had to get back on tour. They were doing everything they could to try and make me forgot and get over her. But I didn't want to. I didn't want to lose the best thing that happened to me!
They were standing off in a group far away mumbling to each other, most likely about me and what used to be Ella. I took my hands out of my pockets where I had shoved them long ago, and a crumpled ball of paper came with my left fist. Ed's song. Ella's grave wasn't the most comfortable spot, but it was the only spot I wanted to be, so I crossed my legs and sat down next to her. I read the lyrics to her softly, making small comments here and there about things she would like.
I came to one line that I had to try and read several times to her. "I-I don't wanna be without you," I finally chocked out. That was when I broke down.
She couldn't be gone! It wasn't fair! I loved her so much... I *still* loved her. This was her song. Moments, was My Ella's song. It would be whether she was on this earth or not. Because she was mine, and I'll always love her...
I was always there with her. I was there when we met, when we started dating, when she found out she had cancer, when the chemo made all her hair fall out, and I was there when she took her last breath. I shared all of those Moments with her. This song would be about her.
