The Secret Girl {ON HOLD}

Chapter 15

A/N all chapters will be in Anastasia's POV unless I say otherwise

I arrived back home at 7:00 pm and as soon as I did I get a text from Derek telling me to go to the hospital. My heart starts to race and all that is going through my mind is what happened? I start my walk downtown with my head down. People are staring at me. I can feel their eyes burning into me. I keep my head down and try to ignore them. I stop in front of the hospital debating whether or not to just make a run for it so I won't have to face whatever is waiting inside. Once I gather up some courage I walk in to see Derek crying, I run up and hug him.

"What's wrong?" I ask him once he's calmed down a bit.

"Devin's dead. His bullies beat him badly and he didn't make it. " He said trying to hold his tears back. Tears of my own threaten to spill out but I don't let them because I have to be strong for him. I hug him again.

"I am so sorry Derek."

"It's not your fault." he says hugging me tighter.

"Where is his family?" I ask.

"His mom is on a business trip and he has no other family."

"That's terrible. Did someone let her know?"

"Yeah she is on her way back as we speak.

"Good." I look down and ask "Have you seen him?"

"No he's in the morgue. Only blood relatives may see him."

"Then lets get out of here. There is no use in waiting." I suggest. He agrees and we walk out together.

"Where do you want to go?"I ask, stopping and turning to face him.

"The park?"

"Sounds good." We walk to the park in silence and sit on the swings. We both swing in silence, neither of us knowing what to say at this time. I look over at him and see a single tear escape from his eye. He looks back at me with a sad expression and says "Can we go home?" I nod and we both jump off the swings and head home. While walking home he grabs my hand for comfort. We walk in complete silence, our hands interlocked. We unlock our hands and walk in the door. As soon as we enter we are greeted by Pam running up to us and hugging us. She says she is sorry for our loss and shit like that and says that if we ever need anything to not hesitate to ask. Once we escape her tight grasp we walk up to Derek's room and sit on his bed. As soon as he sits down he looses it. He held it in for quite a while but now his tears are flowing like a river. I just sit holding him trying to comfort him the best I can. I leans into me, clutching my shirt as he continues to cry. It takes all the strength I have to not burst out sobbing. After about an hour he finally calms down and we just sit there in silence once again. Him clinging on to me and me holding him. We stay like that for I don't know how much longer hen he finally speaks.

"Thank you."

" For what?" I ask looking that him.

"for being here."

"Your welcome."

"Can I ask something?"
"Go ahead."

"Why didn't you cry?"

"I don't cry in front of others ." I state simply.

"Oh." he says looking down.

"Yeah." I look at the time and it is 12:44 am. "It's late I should be going to bed. Will you be okay?" I ask.

"I'll be fine thanks. I should probably get some sleep too." I walk to my room, change into my pjs and crawl into bed turning off the light. I finally release all the tears I had been holding in. I feel so pathetic. I'm laying in bed alone in the dark crying over someone I've known a couple of days. I get up and walk over to my nightstand and grab my old friend, my razor. I lift my shirt up and dig the blade into my stomach again and again watching my blood pour out of the cuts. I haven't done this in so long. I forgot how good it felt. Once I clean up I crawl back into bed and fall asleep.

A/N thank you guys for reading it means a lot. Sorry for posting this so late.