Face Your Past

Chapter 6

          The girls were tucked in at Nikki's finally and I of course couldn't sleep, so I walked down to the park. I wish this town didn't have so many bad memories. Everywhere I looked I felt like I couldn't breathe. When I saw her sitting in the swings I almost walked away.

          "Serenity?" She spoke through her tears.

            "Amy?" I asked in the darkness. She nodded. "What are you doing out here? It's nearly four."

       "Always liked it here. Why did you come back?" She asked out of what I assume was desperation. 

          "You think I had a choice?" I snapped at her. I didn't mean to, I just couldn't help it. The girl in front of me was no longer the girl I knew as a child. It was hard to look at her. The girl I had left had been sweet and kind and untainted by the girls she called her friends now.  "Better question is, what the hell happened to you?" I asked looking at her.

          "You think I had a choice? You left me, that was your choice, you got your out, but where was mine? I did what I had to do to survive." She glared at me.

           "And so you did." I said sitting on the swing next to her.

            "Don't judge my decisions. It was hell when you left, it was worse than hell. What did you think they would do when you left? Forget about you and move on? No they needed someone to torment, I was at the top of that list. Something needed to change. So I did." She barked out. She was blaming me for what she had become.

            "It's not an excuse. I know what it's like to be their target, but would I change all that to become one of them? Not in this life. All you did was change their target. And instead of being you, you became the tormentor. Is that what you really want? To torment others, to make them feel like you did?" I asked honestly dying to know the answer. She shook her head.

        "It's a hell of a lot better than being you right now. I won't be her target again." She said getting up. "Serenity, I'm sorry, I truly am, but I will do whatever I have to do to survive." It was a warning, I knew it. She was telling me that whatever Katherine had planned for me, Amy wouldn't stop her, in fact she would willingly participate in it.

            I sat on the swing thinking back to the day I left. Had my leaving caused the people I knew to change? Or would it have happened anyway?  I shook my head, it was time I head back to my car. I hadn't had a drink except for the sip six hours ago and I just wanted to get home. My moms was maybe a ten minute drive. That's when I saw him. He was passed out on the slide. Fantastic. Aiden was passed out drunk and I should leave him here, lord knows he would do the same for me or worse. I couldn't however, because right now in his drunken and sleepy state, he looked less like the man I hated, and more like a broken man. 

           I sighed as I tried to wake him up again. Picking  him up wasn't an option. I wasn't that strong.  "Come on Aiden" I said while trying to shake him.  I just needed him awake enough to get him to walk just a little. Now I was straddling him and shrugged before a rated back and smacked him across the face.  He shot up almost throwing me off of him but he wrapped his arms around my waist and brought me back down to him.

           "Heyyyyy...bluuuuu." He smiled up at me.

      "I really wish you'd stop calling me that." I said. "Come on, let's get you home." I said to him. He shook his head at me.

       "Why not? I always called you Blu." He said.

        "When we were kids maybe, you haven't called me Blu this much since we were nine." I said to him. 

         "I know." He whispered sadly. 

          "Come on, get up. You can't sleep here."

          "Why not? It's comfy."  I shook my head at him and he sighed as he slowly and wobbly got up.  I held him up as we walked down the street. "Why'd you leave Blu." He said.

        "Because being here was hell for me Aiden, thanks for that by the way." I snapped. 

       "I never hurt you." He said it again.

        "Never hurt me? No you didn't push me down, you didn't have to. You didn't call me the names but you stood there laughing. You watched your friends, your girlfriend and you said nothing, you promised to protect me Aiden. You promised me and you lied." I said to him. Now we were almost to his house and of course I was crying.  He didn't say anything or reply to what I had just said.  He wouldn't remember it anyway.  He just pointed to my old clubhouse in the back, between our two yards. 

         "Take me there." I eyed him weirdly but shrugged. If he wanted to sleep in that ratty old club house, who was I to stop him?

          We were standing outside under the stars when he whispered. "I'm sorry." I didn't respond, I just opened the door and led him into a place that we had been our closest. He layed down on the mattress in the corner and I looked around. Carvings from our childhood still there. I hadn't been in here in ten years. I saw something out of the corner of my eye and I turned to see what it was. A picture of me. Not a child me, but a fourteen year old me. It was me in a dress, freshman homecoming, next to it as another picture of me, it was of me, but it was from a year ago.  That was a picture I had sent Jake. When did he get this? If he had this, then he knew who I was when I arrived. It looked as if it had been in here for a while. I leaned down next to him. "Aiden?"

     "Mmm"

      "When did you get this picture of me in New York?" He stirred lightly.

      "Mmm, a while. So beautiful. Just like before." Like before? What was he going on about. I didn't look anything like before. The girl in the first picture had a darkness about her. She was sad and hated everything. The girl in New York was happy. 

       "Goodnight Aiden." I said shaking my head.

I was almost out of the shed when I saw something else. In the corner was an envelope. It was addressed to me in New York. The envelope was torn at the top and inside was pieces of paper that looked like they had been wadded up and smoothed back out.  I shrugged and picked them up. It was addressed to me after all.   I stuck it in my pocket.  Suddenly I was turned around and Aiden was standing in front of me. When did he get up.  "One last thing Blu." He said breathing into my face. Gross. How much had that boy drank? What happened next, was the last thing I ever expected. He looked at me with some kind of fire in his eyes. He looked at my lips for a second and then he just kissed me. Not just some sweet kiss either, a fire fueled, painful, drunken kiss.  It took me a moment to collect myself to push him away and glare at him.  He just smiled down at me. "I've wanted to do that for a long time." He stated and then he went back to his mattress and went back to sleep.   I stumbled out and back up to my fathers house. There was no way I was driving now. I just sat on that back porch and stared at the club house for a while before heading inside.