When You Can't Sleep At Night (an Of Mice & Men Fanfiction; Austlan)

Chapter 3

      It's a beautiful Monday morning as my friends Alan, Tino, and Aaron all walk to school. But I can't really enjoy it. The slender red headed boy I call my best friend confuses me.

      Does he even remember what had happened between us?

      I remember so clearly that kiss, even though I was flat out drunk. I went to bed next to him happy, but as lost as ever. The next morning when we woke up, Alan didn't even mention it and when he dropped me off, he made no efforts to kiss me goodbye. Had I really expected him to?

     'Well yeah,' I answer my own question. 'He did kiss me, so he must feel the same about me as I do him.' I don't know if he loves me too, honestly. But what I do know, is that my stomach is tying in knots just thinking about it.

       "Are you okay?" Tino asks from my right side. "You haven't said anything this whole way here." I chewed on my bottom lip, remembering Alan's lips were once there, and nod slightly. Now we're in front of the big school building, climbing the stained white steps.

      When we step inside, Tino does his regular thing now of leaving early. "Where do you always go as soon as you get here?" Alan calls, by that time Tino is halfway down the hall. "I made a new friend!" he yelled back over the crowd. Alan and Aaron shrug and I chuckle as I follow them down the main hall. Out of the corner of my eye, I see Jessica standing in a practically empty hallway, looking at me with the face that I've come to known as the "I want to make up" face.

      I know this because we get into fights just about every other week.

      I never start them but...

      Sighing, I call Aaron and Alan and tell them I'll meet up with them in English. They nod, curiosity in their eyes.

      I speed walk to Jessica and stop with my hands in my pockets. She twirls her blonde hair with a finger as she asks in a small voice "Do you hate me?" I try so hard not to roll my eyes in annoyance. "Of course I don't hate you," I mumble. "I guess I just overeacted about the whole thing." she explains, her tone getting happier. I give a small grin and say "It's okay.."

    "Yay!" she exclaims as she throws her arms around my neck and presses her body against mine. I pat her back, unsure of what else to do with my hands.

      Without warning, she puts her lips on mine and starts kissing me. I kiss back, but barely. Maybe it's because less than 48 hours ago, Alan was kissing me instead of her.

      And I'd much rather it be Alan's lips.

      I pull away before it turns into full on make out. Her smiling face is as big as ever. "I just want you to hang out with me more often instead of those freaks." Freaks? Did she just call the only reasons I'm living freaks? My face twisted into fury. I was going to say something but then a sharp bell rings and I say my goodbyes and walk to class.

      I can't fucking hide it anymore. I'm not in love with Jessica. I love Alan. More than I can explain.

     "Oh look," I mumble angrily, looking at the clock on the wall as I hurry to English. "All this and it's only 9:40."

      After I take my seat behind Aaron and beside Alan, they both look at me. "Where did you go?" Aaron asks me, his glasses making a glare from the sunlight in the window. "Jessica wanted to talk to me," I say, acting uninterested. "Of course." Alan says as he rolls his eyes. Was he jealous? "She called you guys freaks." I blurted out, wanting to get it off my chest.

     Both of them look immediately pissed. "She called us what?!" Alan said, raising his voice. "She picks fights with you all the fucking time and probably blows every guy in this school, and WE'RE the freaks?" I furrow my eyebrows, mainly with work. Was he being serious?